10-11-2023 09:43 PM
10-11-2023 09:49 PM
Hi @Sandee ,
I'm sorry to hear how hard it has been for you lately. I read of the constant fear you are living in, as well as the anxiety and emotional turmoil each day. I'm glad you have been able to go to your GP to get a mental health care plan for yourself. Hopefully, you will be able to talk through some of what has been happening for you and the emotions that come with it.
From your post, it sounds like your son was quite responsive when you showed how worried and upset you were - do you think so? I'm wondering whether language such as, "I feel really upset when I see you.....", will be helpful when starting a conversation?
Something that parents and young people often find easier is when they talk while travelling in a car or walking so that they do not have to face the person directly - I wonder if that would make it easier for your son?
It sounds like you are doing everything you can @Sandee . Please continue to look after yourself and practice self-care at this time. If you feel you need to speak to someone, you can contact services such as:
10-12-2023 06:08 PM
How are you today has it been a better day? I have been thinking of you .
Yes my daughter knows whats going on and I try not to tell her too much as it must be affecting her hearing how much anxiety I am having.
I went to a physiologist today and I think that helps. Just trying to come up with strategies for myself on how handle my anxiety and reactions.
I have decided not to sit down with my son again and explain consequences I feel he knows so now it's about trying to be strong enough and stick to it. Easier said than done as you know.
He suggested trying the antidepressants as im physically dry retching every morning and if I down like them then I can stop. I may try starting this Sunday as anything is better than feeling like this.
He also wants my husband to get a bit more involved as im going to be dealing with alot in the upcoming months with my brother and my mum.
That must have been scary having and ectopic pregnancy . I know it's really tough with the kids they hang with but we cant control that . People say oh you should know who they are with well thats fine if they tell you but its not possible in our situations. We just have to be there to pick up the pieces if they fall and hope they know we are always there for them.
I cant imagine some of the friend that my son is with im sure they have had issues too as he is seeing them this week and they should be in school.
I feel the hardest thing we have to do as mums is let go and wait till they fail . It will happen im sure due to their behaviours at the moment but the more we try and tell them what is best the more they push back.
Hope that things get better for both of us it doesnt have to be perfect just better xx
10-12-2023 07:35 PM
10-12-2023 08:32 PM - last edited on 10-16-2023 11:21 AM by Stormy-RO
I think its alot harder when you have Mental health issues involved too and please know that I feel you really are doing a good job. You are not giving up and he isnt making it easy on you but your still trying that is amazing and you need to know that!
I think its a wind that he went with you today to the meeting I couldnt even get mine too. Its also a win that he went to class , well done seriously .
I so know what you mean by being Terrified I am too. You cant help thinking things like that especially with them taking off not communicating and hanging out with who know who.
I have to turn the tv off when the news comes on because they are always talking about youth crime and its hard to not start getting anxious.
You sound exactly like me in the mornings dry retching and feeling so sick and anxious. I downloaded a free app called Dare and I now play the free ones in the sos section constantly until I feel myself calm down. Have a look at it. Its not a cure by any means but I actually find the mans voice calming and I dont normally go for things like that.
My son still isntt communicating well at all but I take what I can get right now. he came down for dinner ate some of it didnt speak then went back up to his room.
Re my brother and my Mum we got the hardest of news when we were down helping my daughter move into her new house in June.
We went down to help her move and also because my mum was having a hip replacement and it was school holidays.
The day after moving my daughter in my mum called to tell me my brother had cancer and it was everywhere. 2 primary stage 4 cancers ( bowel and lung) and there was nothing that could be done. He wasnt even sick he had a chest infection that wasnt quite clearing up so it was a massive shock. Then Mum had her hip done and they noticed she was out of breath a bit and did tests and she is also stage 4 terminal with bowel cancer.
Sadly my brother has been moved back down and is now bed ridden so it will be any day now. My mum is having immunotherapy which seems to be going well but that will only give her approx 6mths.
My other brother died last year of a sudden heart attack so it has been alot to deal with and alot more coming so when my son is behaving this way its just too much.
Sorry to unload.
Re your sons school I wouldnt worry to much about how he spoke I really think that sadly now days they are used to that I think its just great he even went.
My son has never been formally diagnosed but I think there maybe something there but he doesnt want to investigate that and has said from the get go he will not take medication so there is no point yet.
Re me getting into a physiologist so quick I know was unbelievable. MyGP had to do a mental health plan for me and he gave me the number of a group not far that are really good with getting you in quickly. Mind you I only called today and wasnt expecting to get in today but they said if I was happy to see a male he had a free spot.
He was good very reassuring and has had similar experience himself which helped.
I think if you go to your GP tell them exactly how you are feeling and see if they can give you someone that you can get into quickly.
Im so sorry to hear about your husbands dad it's just heartbreaking. You all seem to be doing so much as well no wonder your overwhelmed.
You really are doing all you can we cant force them nor can we control what they are doing we just have to keep showing up as hard as it is and hope that one day they come back to us . Parenting really is the hardest job ever
Thinking of you xx
10-12-2023 09:24 PM
10-12-2023 09:31 PM
10-13-2023 03:27 PM - last edited on 10-16-2023 11:20 AM by Stormy-RO
Yes the Dare app is white with a purple flying person. You can do the 2 weeks free trial but I at the moment am only doing the free things on it.
Thanks so much for all your kinds words means alot.
Im going to be MIA for a bit as we found out this morning that my brother passed away. So I am having to hand the reigns over to my husband for the week (fingers crossed) as I need to fly to be with my Mum xx
I will check in and hope that you have some better days ahead ad ill be thinking of you xx
10-13-2023 03:37 PM
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