12-30-2017 04:07 AM - last edited on 12-30-2017 11:34 PM by taokat
I'm 36 years old, have no friends, no money and my family decided to spend Xmas without me. I can't talk to anyone in my circle about things like this, as literally no one cares. Yes I'm fat, yes, I'm UN-empathetic, and yes, I'm a recovering drug addict.
Despite my flaws, I've never raped, stolen property or physically/sexually assaulted ANYONE, and yet, I'm seen as an outcast, event thou the people I'm supposed to be close to, know my mental illnesses and refuse to acknowledge them.
What am I supposed to do, I can't get a job (been applying for positions for 15 months now with only 1 interview I never heard back from), the Gov't doesn't seen to recognize my disability or disorder as something they should assist with, let alone pay for, and I have no one to talk to, discuss, or rely on when things go bad. I have thought about suicide almost daily for the last 10 years, and as a former scientific technician, I know the best way to do so. I won't elaborate here, but it is cheap, effective and painless. The reason I haven't gone through with it yet, isn't because I'm a coward, and Isn't because I would disappoint my family, it is because I try, day in day out to improve myself, but after 36 years of trying with constant failure, it has become, like any business' fallback strategy, a way out.
I'm currently prescribed medication, and see no foreseeable future in which I can be productive under the current legislation and drug enforcement regulations while I am on such prescription medication. I need help, but can't afford the 170 dollars an hour to see a psychiatrist or other phony doctor to see to my mental issues.
Thanks for reading, don't expect me to be alive to respond.
12-30-2017 05:07 AM - last edited on 12-30-2017 09:50 AM by TOM-RO
Unfortunately you have reach out for help in a forum for parents of teenagers so you probably will not get the help you are seeking here. But hopefully the coordinator of this site will see your cry for help and contact you.
I hope you feel better soon. This time of year sucks because all of the mental health professionals are on holidays. Just know that you are not alone and many many people are struggling day to day
12-30-2017 09:45 AM - edited 12-30-2017 09:51 AM
Hi , @HelpMe I just read your message and yes we are a forum for parents and teens , but I just wanted to say please stay with us . You are important and you do matter . You have things yet to do in this world . Right now you are feeling really low and life seems as if it will never change I get that , you must be in a really bad space . It must be awful for you . I cannot imagine what it must be like to be alone at Christmas . So sorry to hear this !
You do not feel it now but do know that you can feel hopeful again . The past does not need to represent the future and when you are out of this pit you can start to makes some small manageable changes to a better life that includes those that are important to you . Please call Lifeline immediately .
12-30-2017 09:48 AM
Hi @HelpMe, it sounds like you're really struggling to cope at the moment, which isn't helped by the lack of understanding from your family. It sounds like you could really do with some support to manage your situation and your distress, such as a counsellor or psychologist. You would not necessarily need to pay the $170 you mentioned as you can ask your GP for a referral under a mental health care plan, which would give you subsidised sessions.
As ReachOut is a forum for adolescents and parents of adolescents, I would like to refer you to another support forum which is for all ages. These forums are run by SANE Australia and can be accessed via the following link: https://www.saneforums.org/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkt2vpKaw2AIVhAsrCh3X1gvaEAAYASABEgKVN_D_BwE
You might also benefit from contacting a helpline like the Suicide Call Back Service, which operates 24/7 (1300 659 467). If you are at immediate risk of harm we strongly encourage you to contact 000 or present to your nearest hospital.
P.S. I have edited your name out of the post as anonymity is one of our Community Guidelines.
12-31-2017 11:25 PM
Hi @HelpMe Hope you are Ok and keeping safe?
If you need someone to talk to please contact the Suicide Call Back Service, Ph: 1300 659 467, or Life Line Ph: 13 11 14 - both operate 24/7. If you are at immediate risk of harm we strongly encourage you to contact 000 or present to your nearest hospital.
Great suggestion by @TOM-RO - a local GP should be able to do a mental health care plan for you. You may be able to get Medicare financial assistance to see a mental health professional.
01-02-2018 11:38 AM
@HelpMe I too am interested to hear how you're going, and if you have found any of the advice here useful.
I know you said you can't afford to see a psychiatrist, but have you considered discussing how you feel and what you need with your GP (maybe print what you've typed here if talking with your doctor is hard)? They might be able to provide you with a mental health care plan that provides Medicare subsidised visits to a mental health counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.