Support for daughter being discharged from inpatient admission

[Andrea-RO]

Hey @mugs1170

It's lovely to hear from you again, and I am so glad to hear that you're doing ok and your daughter is starting to adjust.  I can imagine that this would be really scary for you, but you are doing an incredible job to support your daughter, and she is very lucky to have someone so loving and caring in her life. 

I am also really glad to hear that you've been able to rely on some professional supports fro help and advice. I was wondering if your partner was open to having similar supports for himself? It might even be helpful for him to anonymously call a support line - like MensLine or Parentline - so he can get some stuff of his chest

[mugs1170]

It’s been a really difficult time. My daughter believes no one is helping her, as in professionals & she’s in crises again & im worried about her. Knowing how to help her is hard

[TOM-RO]

Hi @mugs1170 

I responded to you in your other thread here. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by crises but if you are worried that she might harm herself then please contact emergency services, otherwise my other post details some service options for you. It sounds like your daughter has lost hope so it might be worth trying to instill hope in her. Perhaps tell her about your own mental health journey and how you've learned to deal with and manage your distress over time?

[Janine-RO]

Hi @mugs1170 ,

I just wanted to check in, and see how you and your daughter are going? 

Supporting someone through a mental health crisis is so incredibly tough, as a parent myself I have to say my heart absolutely goes out to you. I think I've asked this before, but have you seen a counsellor or psych yourself to get some extra support for you? It's fantastic that you've reached out here - I can imagine that it must take a huge toll on you, especially when your daughter doesn't feel like the professional help that she's had has been helpful. 

Finding the right mental health professionals and working out what type of treatment works for you can be a really long road, and I'm sorry to hear that your daughter feels like she's not being well supported at the moment. 

Is she able to engage with crisis services like the Suicide Callback service, Lifeline (13 11 14)  or Beyond Blue when she's feeling really unwell? Do you mind if I ask- does she have a safety plan, or has she expressed any active thoughts of suicide? I know these conversations can be incredibly difficult to have, and we are here to support you  

[mugs1170]

Yes it’s been really hard. I have my own psychiatrist & psychologist but seeing it through the eyes of a parent is different. I guess her being in emotional pain is heart wrenching & I find myself wanting to protect her but I can’t. Today she is at a day program & hopefully these days will be beneficial. I’m exhausted from all the anxiety.

[Janine-RO]

Hi @mugs1170 , 

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to see your daughter in so much pain, especially when it's something that you can't 'fix' for her, it's understandable that you're feeling exhausted.  A day program sounds like a really promising step for her, and hopefully will give you a chance to take a breath and refill your own cup a bit. 

It's great that you have your own psychiatrist and psychologist for support, it sounds like you've been really proactive in doing everything you can for yourself and your daughter. 

Are you able to do something nice for yourself today? It sounds like you've been an incredible support for your daughter, but it's okay to feel exhausted and do something that is just for you  

I'm also just tagging two of our parent champions, @sunflowermom  and @JAKGR8 , as I know they have supported their teenage kids through different challenges, so may be able to add more support here  

[sunflowermom]

Hello
My heart goes out to you! My family has been there. My daughter is about a year into recovery. Coming out of the hospital was the hardest part. Day program helped immensely. I will write more soon. I have a few suggestions that brought me co.fort when she came home.

[mugs1170]

Thanks for the reply. It sounds like we are both going through an interesting time!! My daughter just doesn’t seem to have the fight at the moment. So it’s a day to day thing. Sometimes she’s 16 & sometimes I feel she’s an angry toddler! Navigating through everything is a challenge. So any advice is appreciated

[sunflowermom]

Hello @mugs1170 

sorry its taken so long to get back.....Life has bee very hectic

Our family felt so lost when my daughter was first discharged.  We had no idea what was right or wrong and how much supervision was required.  We kept cabinets locked, and we installed cameras throughout the home.  alarms on the doors in case she tried to sneak out and locks o the windows,  For about 2 months she was always supervised.  although she was allowed some alone time in her room- just no locked doors.  I remember the times we went through this exhausting and hellish.  Therapy of some sort about 5 days per week.  She also went into a day program for a month where she learned some cognitive behavior tips.  I basically had to work only part time to help get her to all her appointments and still bring her to work with e on other days.   And school turned into home schooling.  we put a tracker on her phone too.  Everything we went through was trial and error.  So I'm just offering a few things that might help.   The cameras I must say were a big comfort to me.

I know you are currently going through the most exhausting all consuming challenge of your life.  I never imagined it would happen to us either.  But there were times in the throws of everything that I couldn't imagine her getting well.  But it does happen....it really does recovery happens.  Just not as fast as we would like.  Hugs