09-12-2018 08:26 PM
09-12-2018 09:56 PM
Hey there @Troubled75, thanks so much for posting, this definitely sounds like an emotionally exhausting situation. We have a bunch of incredible parents on this forum who have experience with issues similar to this so I think you will benefit from peer support here. He is still very young, and whilst it probably feels incredibly taxing he's entering into a very vulnerable space from now until he's about 26 as his brain continues to develop and his testosterone peaks and troughs. In terms of the psychologist's, what specifically do you feel is not working? Keen to hear more on this, and where you feel the practitioner's aren't totally effective. We're here to listen
Will tag some members for you too @taokat @sunflowermom @Schooner @Orbit64
09-12-2018 10:13 PM - edited 09-12-2018 10:14 PM
09-12-2018 10:30 PM - edited 09-12-2018 10:31 PM
Hey there @Troubled75 absolutely, totally can understand that affliction must be really challenging. There's a free service we offer called ReachOut parents coaching [click here], which basically provides support to parents who are parenting challenging adolescents or those working through mental health symptoms. I think the key thing is that you do have awareness around where his problem stems from, the boundaries must really get exhausting - balancing love and parameters, you're right it's important he doesn't bully anyone in the family and understands the resulting effect this behaviour can have.
Have the Psych's/Doc's diagnosed him with anything, he's dealing with very complex emotions by the sound of it. Or at this stage do they believe it to be a result of the divorce?
Do you have support in your life around this as well? Anyone who can provide you a safe space to talk it out?
09-13-2018 01:35 PM
09-13-2018 10:06 PM
@Troubled75 thanks for reaching out and I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties you have been facing. It sounds like it's been a really tough time for you and your son. I'm wondering if your son has someone that he is close to that could be an extra support during this time, perhaps a cousin, best friend or relative? You mentioned that he can have physical outlashes and meltdowns, does he play any sport that could help him release some of that built up energy? Self-care is really important during this time, what are some ways you are looking after yourself? I'm going to tag some members for some further support @Happy @Helpful_Mum @lizard0812 @Moggy3kids We're here to listen and support you
09-14-2018 11:51 AM
09-14-2018 03:19 PM
@Troubled75 Its great the he is going fishing with a friend. It sounds like there is something that he still enjoys and as you said, it can be very therapeutic. Hopefully he is able to reach out to this friend he goes fishing with as well, if not, that sense of connection can still be very meaningful! At 14 years old, big emotions must be terrifying for him especially not knowing what to do with those emotions. Have you considered family counselling for you and your son? Or even individual counselling for yourself? One-on-one counselling could help you to develop some strategies for ways around how you can support your son.
09-14-2018 09:36 PM
09-14-2018 10:50 PM
Hey @lizard0812, thanks for your support and being apart of the forums! You have offered such lovely sentiment and valuable insight. I think it is so true in that sometimes children are not willing to speak to their parents but it is important for them to have a trusted adult to speak to. Also very important to look after yourself and realise that you are doing the very best that you can even if it doesn't feel like it
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