Feeling so sad for my teen

[Wiley]

I'm new here, but I just really need to get this off my chest.  My 16 year old called me in a flood of tears over the way she was spoken to by a teacher today.  Ordinarily I'd say people aren't always nice, teachers included, but my kid has only recently stopped taking medications she'd been on for a year for PTSD.  She has ongoing physical health issues, had to change schools recently due to bullying and really didn't need to be humiliated in front of the whole class.  People really need to think about what others may be going through before going off at them.  Thats it.  Just needed to get it out before she comes home from school, when I will have to act all strong and wise for her, when frankly thats the exact opposite of how I feel.

[Breez-RO]

Hey @Wiley welcome to the forums. Really feeling for you on this one, your protective instincts must have kicked in and I am sure you are highly frustrated. It is normal to feel everything they're feeling and illustrates to me how connected you are to your child. How is she now? Are you thinking about chatting to the teacher too?

I will tag some of our members for their insight.

@taokat @sunflowermom @Schooner

[taokat]

Hey @Wiley, good on you for unloading here so you could feel calmer supporting your daughter after she came home. It's an awesome coping skill. Getting those calls from our kids is really distressing and there's an element of feeling helpless because we're not with them. I get used to get them from my daughter when she was at school, and still do sometimes when she's at tafe. I find it really heart wrenching, and my heart goes out to you.

I completely get how upset you must be a) about the way that your daughter was spoken to, and b) just wanting to catch a break for your daughter who's been through so much already. And I absolutely agree with you that "People really need to think about what others may be going through before going off at them."  I'd suggest talking with the teacher and/or the year advisor and find out what happened and discuss your concerns with them. Are they aware of your daughter's issues and previous experiences? 

You sound like such a loving mum who has a close relationship with your daughter which is beautiful. I hope to see you in the forum more as I'm sure you have loads of wisdom to share with other parents.

Let us know how things went when your daughter got home from school. 

[mariajanes]

You need to make his routine work schedule & encourage him to follow it strictly. You can give prizes or awards to your kids after completion the tasks. It is considered as one of the best way to encourage the teens.

[sunflowermom]

Hi @Wiley

Its so awful when our child goes through these situations with teachers or sometimes peers.  I agree with @taokat how helpless it feels when your not there and you get those calls.  I think many of us have been there before.  I also agree maybe talking to the teacher or school counselor to see if there can be some kind of resolution so it doesn't escalate but also so your daughter knows you are trying to help her handle these things.  She might even have an idea of how she would like to resolve it. Let us know how it goes!  We are here for you!

[Faob_1]

Hi, as a parent and a teacher it makes me really annoyed to read what your daughter was subject o by a teacher. Please, please make an appointment with the teacher concerned and ask for a Deputy, or year coordinator and pastoral care staff to be there too. I would take the approach that the comments made were unprofessional, unacceptable in this day and age, and that no student should be humiliated by someone whose very role in her life is to guide and inspire. In no uncertain terms would I allow that to go past. Please be firm with the school. Teachers should ‘have their students’backs’, just as much as a parent, imho. 

Let us know what you do.