Life with a Restraining Order in Place

[Faob_1]

Well, it’s been months I’ve been adding to this forum. So long my son has aged a year in the process...I’ve aged about a hundred! 

The long and the short of it is I’ve had a Family Violence Restraining Order served on my 15 year old son today. That means no contact via phone, physically and no approaching within 50m of me or our family home. The judge who granted it put me through the mill. It was very tough sitting there in The Children’s Court requesting the order.  I am the only one named on the order, not my husband nor my 18 year old daughter. She has just returned from 6 months away and is terribly upset nothing has improved in that time.

So, my question is, has anyone here been through this experience? How did you get through? Does the penny ever drop for kids who are just spiralling out of control and rational thought processes? He is using cannabis and I honestly feel that it is having noticeable bad effects already. Here in  WA dope is being laced with Ice and I wonder if that’s part of our problem. How many pedicures will I need before the ‘me time’ actually works?! But seriously, what’s next? 

[Breez-RO]

Hey there @Faob_1 firstly thanks so much for posting, and secondly this is an incredibly painful situation I really do feel for you. I believe one of our other members is currently in the process of this as well, I will throw a tag to them  below I truly believe all young people have the ability to change and grow, but it will require a great deal of patience as his brain is still developing, his hormones still raging, and all his boundaries are still up for testing. Where is he staying now do you know? Do you see a therapist yourself for support?

@Orbit64 @sunflowermom @taokat @Schooner 

[Faob_1]

Thanks for the response. The police have told my husband which school friend he is staying with tonight. We don’t know them at all. The kids with whom he has been associating are on the whole, having all the same issues with their behaviour as well. It’s not, from what I can tell, or from what his school has hinted at,  a good crowd to be mixing with. The police have said they intend to get their Youth at Risk officer at the local PCYC involved with our son, to do what they can to intervene. They really don’t want to see the kid in detention, nor do we. They have remarked several times they can see he’s from a good home and that his parents are really trying hard to break cycles. 

So, I know no one can tell me what’s next...I guess I’m grasping at straws. I have some supportive friends and family members and an amazing husband who will continue doing what he can to ensure our son may still have a positive future. I will seek further counselling too.