Hi @Helena1975 and welcome to our online community! I'm sorry to hear that your son is refusing to answer your phone calls, I can only imagine how hurtful and heartbreaking that would be for you. You mentioned that he has talked about running away before, have you been able to talk to him about this and why he might want to run away? I am also wondering if he might be open to creating a plan with you so that if this was to happen again, you would know he's safe. Even if its a simple text message or even a friend that you can call when he's not feeling up to talking. Do you think this is something you might be interested in? I did come across an article recently that might be helpful, its from the Raising Children's Network. It mentions risky behaviours, how to encourage safe risk taking behaviours and even what you can do to help support your teen. It sounds like such a tough situation to be dealing with on your own so I just wanted to ask what kind of supports you have around you at the moment? Is there someone you feel comfortable talking to about all of this? I also just want to remind you that you're not alone and we're all here for you. ... View more

Hi @Mum_to_tween and welcome to our online community!   I'm sorry to hear that your daughter has been bullied at school, no one deserves to go through such an awful experience. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you knowing how much this hurts her. I was just wondering what supports your daughter has around her right now. Has she spoken to anyone else about this at all? I know you mentioned that she doesn't want to snitch on these girls, but I am wondering if the school might be able to offer some additional supports that might be able to ease the situation a little. Do you think she might be comfortable talking to a school Counsellor, if that is an option at all? If you are interested in having a bit of a read, there is a great article on the Raising Children's Network about Bullying and what you can do to help. I wonder if this might be able to give you a couple of ideas as to what to do next.   Please remember that you're not alone and we're all here for you. ... View more

Hi @Cthor22 and thank you for getting back to us. I'm sorry to hear that you and your daughter have been through so much recently, I can only imagine how overwhelming it would have been for you to witness your daughter going through so many changes and trying to find the right medications and dosages. I can hear just how much you care about your daughter, I'm sure she appreciates having someone as supportive as you in her life. I am glad to hear that she seems more alert and herself right now, while its still early, I can imagine that would be such a relief for you. I just want to remind you that you're important too! So what kind of nice things do you do for yourself after a long and stressful week? I also just want to let you know that I have had to edit your post to keep in line with our community guidelines. Please remember that you're not alone and we're all here for you. ... View more

Hi @Birdfeather and thank you for keeping us updated with what has been going on for you. I'm sorry to hear that your friend blames your daughter for their daughters current mental wellbeing. I can only imagine how upsetting that would have been for you. I just want to say that it was really brave of you to meet up with your friend and try to talk to her about this. I was just wondering how she responded to you and whether she was accepting of what you had to share? I can only imagine how stressful this must be for both your daughter and yourself so I just want to remind you that you're important too.What kind of things do you do to take care of yourself after a tough week? We're all here for you. ... View more

Hi @Fkie772 and welcome to our online community! Thank you for reaching out and sharing with us today. We can hear just how much you care about your daughter and how worried you are about whether or not you have prepared her for the future enough. It sounds like such a tough situation to be in, I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. I am just wondering if you have spoken to your daughter about these concerns and shared how you are feeling? It sounds like you have worked so hard to instill these qualities in your daughter and from what you have shared, she seems like a very independent person. Has she ever done anything to lead you to believe that she's not confident or ready to function in the real world? I found an article recently and wonder if maybe it might help you at all. While it is an Australian website, there are some really helpful tips and information that might give you a bit more of an idea of things that you could do to support your daughter and where to go from here. As this is such a hard situation to go through on your own, I am wondering if there is anyone that you might feel comfortable talking to about this? Whether it be a friend, family member or even a health professional. What kind of things do you do to help you relax after a long and stressful week? I just want to remind you that you're not alone and we're all here for you. ... View more

Hi Lalaa, I’m sorry to hear you are having difficulties with teen marijuana use.  I have empathy for you and send you strength and compassion.  I have travelled the journey.  My teen started acting differently at 15.  He changed friendship groups and we had a very frightening 18 months.  It was stressful and I felt maybe we’d loose him.  With marijuana use comes a multitude of others issues.  It takes its toll on the family. Parents feel powerless and siblings have to find ways to cope.  Stigma effects everyone.  It’s very isolating. The way I coped was to reach out to the parents of the people my son was hanging out with.  Most of the parents were feeling the same.  I went to a parent support meeting for parents of teens in crisis, that was very powerful to be with others being able to talk about it openly.  I also reached out to SDECC who run drug education programs for parents of teens.  They have a self paced online course as well as zoom. My son is 17 now and doing his HSC.  He still has a marijuana addiction, so I’m afraid no silver lining there. I’ve been able to keep a rule of never having it at our house, particularly because he has a younger sibling.  He goes for a walk every night, even in the pouring rain.  It’s hard to watch.  He is maturing though and has an understanding now that life has consequences, he didn’t have this understanding at 15.  I feel he is getting ready to quit because he knows he will be limiting his options work wise. Hang in there.  It takes its toll.  You’ll find a strength you never realised you had and most likely even more love, compassion and understanding.   ... View more

Hi @Kskye and welcome to our online community! I'm sorry to hear that your daughter has been having so much trouble at school, I can only imagine how horrible that must be for you to hear. It sounds like a lot of stress and pressure for your daughter to be going through, especially in year 7. You mentioned that you have been waiting for the school Counsellor to get back to you and I want to say that that's a really great first step. Does your daughter have any other supports around her right now? The Raising Children's Network have a great article on School Refusal which gives a better perspective on what might be going on and what you can do to help. I wonder if that might be able to give you more of an idea of where to go next. We also have a number of articles on Bullying that could also be worth a look at too. As this is such a hard situation for any parent to be in, I was just wondering what supports you have for yourself right now? Is there anyone that you feel comfortable talking to about this? We would love for you to keep us updated with how everything goes. Please remember that you're not alone and we're always here for you.  ... View more

Hi @Mooshi28, welcome to our online community and thank you for sharing with us today! I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through so much recently with your 5-year-old. I can only imagine how stressful and exhausting this must be for both yourself and your husband. Firstly, I want to say that you have not failed your son. The fact that you are putting yourself out there to learn more and to identify what's going on, just shows what a good parent you are. If you are interested in having a bit of a read, The Raising Children's Network has a number of great articles and what you can do to help. I am also wondering what supports you have around you right now. Is there someone that you feel comfortable talking to about this? It could be a friend or family member, or perhaps even a health professional. Don't forget that you are important too. What kind of nice things do you do for yourself when things get hard? We are all here for you. ... View more

  Hi @Struggletown    That’s quite a situation you’ve got there. The dilemma looks to be that you’re concerned that if you support your partner disciplining your children that it could affect your relationship with your two children (now and into the future). You wrote “I am a chill and laid back lady. I have a lot of patience”, and so my question to you is: why do you need to change your discipline style at all? There are many children out there who would love to have a mother who has a lot of patience. And changing your discipline style now — when your children are 15 and 10 — might be too late in the day to implement. Firstly, your children already know your style of discipline, and for you to change your style now will be too noticeable. If you side with someone whom they consider ‘mean’, then you by proxy also become ‘mean’. If you stop defending them, then they will begin to feel less protected and less supported in your house. Therefore, and by default, the only place where they would feel protected, and supported, would be at their father's house. Secondly, if you were to change, then you will know within yourself (on an internal level) that you’re not being your genuine and authentic “chill and laid back” self. So not only are you causing conflict with your two children, but you’re additionally causing an internal rift within yourself — all in an attempt to appease someone else's abandonment issues (for which you aren’t responsible at all).   Kind regards, SkyBlue ... View more

Thanks. ... View more

Hi @momenwisata28 and welcome to the online community!   Thanks for reaching out to us. Was there something on your mind that you wanted to talk about today? Would you feel comfortable sharing more about what's gong on for you at the moment?   We just want to remind you that you're not alone and we're all here to support you. ... View more

Hi @Skymurray and welcome to our online community!   Would you feel comfortable sharing more about whats going on for you at the moment? I just wanted to remind you that you're not alone and support is always available to you.   We're all here to support you.   ... View more

@Safehorses thank you so much for letting us know that your grandson is safe; we're wishing you all the best with the challenges you're facing.  Please feel free to reach out to us any time if you'd like to talk or need support - we're here for you.  ... View more

Hi @technicianreact, thank you for checking in with the community today! That is so lovely to hear that things are going well with your children and yourself. Would you feel comfortable sharing more about some of the things happening in your life at the moment? We also hope that you are looking after yourself too, as you are also important! We look forward to hearing from you soon. ... View more

Hi Worried Mum 720, Welcome to our Reachout Parent Forum. I've been coming here intermittently for over a year and am Mum to an 18 year old son and 16 year old daughter. Sometimes, I come here to get advice about issues happening for us, and other times, I pop in to reach out.  I don't have much experience of self-harm. However, I have made good progress with connecting with our daughter lately via going driving in the car. She's learning to drive and finds driving quite calming and we've been on a few 2 hour drives at night. It's not always great, but she's opened up quite a lot. Trying to keep communication going and building that foundation that they is loved and valued, can hopefully counterbalance whatever's prompting the self harm. However, maybe discussing safety and having three phone numbers they can call if things get too much. Finding ways to vent such as exercise, journaling, music. Do you have a pet?  The other thing I've found helpful is going to seeing professionals on my kids' behalf before and found it very helpful.  I hope that helps. Best wishes, Birdwings ... View more

Hi @Matraph and welcome to our online community!   I'm sorry to hear that your 5-year-old has been having some trouble adjusting to kindergarten. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to hear all of these things from their teachers.   If you are up for some reading, The Raising Children's Network has a number of articles that may be worth a read, including one on Self-Regulation.    I am also wondering how you take care of yourself when things get really tough? If you would like to talk to someone about this, Parentline is a great support service that might also be able to point you in the right direction of where to go next.   We are all here for you. ... View more

This is a challenging time for your daughter and positive you will support her throughout this journey. The decision to have the baby will ultimately be your daughter's and she will need to consider her options carefully. At least she is fortunate to have you by her side. The boyfriend's family are pressuring your daughter to terminate the pregnancy. It appears that some of his family are concerned about how this will effect the boyfriend. Understandable. Abortion is an option - and a suggestion that appears to be straight-forward. Teenage girl walks into health clinic.....Takes a pill.....Job done...... However..... Has the young man's well meaning family considered the trauma this young girl may experience? Have they considered the deep, life-long regret your daughter could experience? Being a teenager is hard enough. Let alone being a prospective young mum who is facing pressure to undergo a very emotional, medical procedure. The boyfriend's family may have sincere intentions and are only trying to protect him from possible legal consequences. Yet it's important for them to respect the needs of your daughter. Hopefully. The boyfriend will want to stay on and be part of Baby's upbringing - in which case it would be sensible for his relatives to curtail their views. After all. The decision will rest on your daughter's young shoulders. Whatever the outcome, new experiences can be drawn from this event and be a positive new beginning. The legal issue of being placed on the 'sex offenders register' is a matter of law. However. As with any legal matter, there are ways in which special circumstances can be considered. It's unfair that a consenting, loving young couple should be penalised. This will create problems for both young people when considering their career options and pursuing further education, training or employment. Then there is Baby to consider. Due to their very young age - as you have written - the parents will have contact with the family/social/community services in order to monitor both the welfare of Mum, Dad and Baby. There can be mixed emotions about the welfare organisations getting involved because families may feel intruded upon and judged. However. This can provide an opportunity to address your concerns regarding financial help, health care and legal matters. It will certainly be worth making enquiries about financial support due to the circumstances. Discuss with the social/welfare team when they visit. Health clinics, advice centres and groups for young parents are likely to be available in your area. It can't be in the young family's interest for the parents to be placed on the sex offenders register. This is an area where some legal advice is needed and from someone who understands about the needs of very young parents. The family welfare services should have experience with these matters and be able to provide appropriate advice. With regard to where you stand as a mother, your daughter is lucky to have you by her side. It seems your daughter wants to keep the baby - which means focusing on her and Baby's future. The opinions of the boyfriend's family are their own but could have a negative effect on the young man's willingness to embrace fatherhood. We assume a man is excited and proud at the prospect of becoming a father for the first time. Sadly. Mixed emotions can cause a prospective father to choose not to be part of a child's upbringing. On the other hand - whatever life throws at them - young parents successfully raise their families. From what you have written, it appears that your daughter and her partner are willing to stay together and raise their family. Hopefully, the negative comments coming from his family will subside. With your support, the young parents and Baby will be a new beginning for you all.   ... View more

Hi @Jettz and welcome to our online community!   I'm sorry to hear that your daughter has been self-harming and that this has been so traumatic to your family. I can only imagine how scary and confusing this must feel right now. Self-harm can be difficult as it is a way of coping with painful or strong emotions. You mentioned that she self-harms in response to any punishments, have you been able to speak to her about this and find out more about why she does this? If you are interested in having a read at all. The Raising Children's Network has a great article on Self-harm that might be worth having a look at it. The article also gives you an idea of what you can do when someone self-harms. As this is such a hard and stressful time, I am wondering how you are taking care of yourself. Is there someone that you feel comfortable talking to about this? If you would like to talk to someone, Parentline is a great resource and may be able to point you in the right direction of what to do next. I also just wanted to let you know that I had to edit your post a little to keep within the community guidelines. Please remember that you're not alone and we're always here for you. ... View more

Thanks for your reply. My ex wife and I are in no way amicable. I have attempted to talk to her about this but I just get the "it's your fault" from her which isn't helpful at all.    I really don't know what to do for her to help her and improve our relationship. I'll check out the links you have provided. I do have some support, so thats a good thing, but its still difficult as nobody has been through this.... ... View more

Hi @ProudDadof2 and welcome to our online community!   I'm sorry to hear that you've been having trouble with your son sneaking out at night. I can only imagine how scary and shocking that would have been to find out. You mentioned that you spoke to your son about this and how it's not okay, do you mind me asking how he responded to this?   It sounds like your in a very conflicted position right now so I was just wondering if there was someone that you felt comfortable talking to about this at all?   While it is an Australian website, The Raising Children's Network offers some great tips and tricks for a number of different situations, so it could be worth having a look at to see what options might be available to you.   I just want to remind you that you're not alone and we're all here to support you. ... View more

Hi @Erin0110 and welcome to our online community!   I'm sorry to hear that you're not sure what to do and that you're feeling so confused, it sounds like there is a lot going on at the moment. Would you feel comfortable sharing more about what's going on for you?   I just want to remind you that you are not alone and we're all here for you. ... View more

Hi @Metoo and welcome to our online community!   I'm sorry to hear that you are having trouble getting your daughter to finish high school. I was wondering if you have spoken to her about this and asked her why she may not want to?   I am also wondering how you are taking are of yourself during such a stressful situation as you are important too. Do you have any support for yourself at the moment?   Also, if you are up for a bit of a read, The Raising Children's Network has some great resources and useful tips. They have a great article on School Refusal that might be worth having a read of.   Please remember that you are not alone and we're all here for you. ... View more

Hello, did you try joint psychotherapy? children tend to use drugs because of repressed emotions and stress ... View more

Hello, did you try to talk with the school staff (headteacher, class teachers)? Maybe she has some problems with classmates or the subject teacher... I just want to say that it's serious problem. You should also talk to psychotherapist Try to find out the reason, if you find the reason, the problem will be solved  ... View more

Hi @Asldk_2022 and welcome to our online community!   It can be so hard to hear things like this about our own children, especially when you know just how much they love what they're doing. I am sorry to hear that you've been put in such a tough position. You mentioned that you have spoken to him about it, I was just wondering if he told you why he feels like they are telling him he isn't any good? Do you think it could be helpful to talk to the coach about it and perhaps asking if they might consider approaching it differently? If you are up for a bit of a read, it might be worth having a look at the Raising Children's Network as they have a number of articles on teens and sport behaviours that you might find helpful. I am also wondering how you take care of yourself when things get hard? If you would like to talk to someone about this, Parentline is a great resource and may be able to give you some advice on what to do from here.   We are all here for you. ... View more

Hi @Harleydog , I just wanted to follow up and say that I'm incredibly sorry to hear about what you and your daughter are going through. Seeing your child in so much pain can be incredibly traumatising, so I'm sure that the last few weeks of ED visits and trying to find another mental health facility have been both physically and emotionally draining. I'm glad to hear that your daughter is heading to another facility on Monday - hopefully they can provide her with the additional support she needs to continue recovering.    From what you've said, I can really hear how dedicated and reliable you are as a parent. Being there for your daughter seems to be your number one priority, even if it comes at the cost of your own health at times. I'm a big believer that you can't give from an empty cup, so I'm really glad to see that you've reached out to your GP and you're exploring other options to look after yourself while you're supporting your daughter. Is there anything that you can do at the moment, even if it's only for 5 minutes, that is just for you?    You mentioned the idea of homeschooling your daughter for a while to help with some of your financial stress and to give her a chance to recover at home. What would that arrangement look like for you in terms of your job?    You also mentioned that you're seeking peer support from other parents who have been in similar situations. We have definitely heard from other parents on this forum who have supported their children through a suicide attempt, so I hope that reading their stories and hearing from them will provide you with some hope. If you think it would be useful for you, Beyond Blue have also written a great guide on supporting someone on their way back from suicide, which has been created by people with lived experience of this very challenging situation.    Please feel free to keep us updated on how you're doing and know that we are here to support you while you're doing the tough and important work of supporting your daughter  ... View more

Hi @Lillyrose and welcome to the online community!   I'm sorry to hear that your son hates where he is living, I can only imagine how overwhelming and stressful this must be for you to hear. I can hear just how much you care and worry about your son, so I was just wondering how you take care of yourself when things get hard. Is there someone you feel comfortable talking to about this?   If you would like someone to talk to, it might be worth reaching out to a service like Parentline for some helpful advice and if you are up for some reading, the Raising Children's Network might also be worth looking in to.   Please remember that you're not alone and we're all here for you. ... View more

Hi @Names, thank you for posting. We are glad that you have found some comfort in reading a post from another parent going through a similar thing. Hopefully you find some helpful tips on our forum!   Just so you know, I have posted a response on your thread. Here is the link for anyone else wondering   ... View more