Hey @shelby71, this must be an awfully tough time for you and your daughter, and I’m so sorry for your loss you’ve both suffered. My heart goes out to you both.
Grief can be a fickle emotion that we all process and handle in different ways, and it does sound like your daughter is still trying to come to terms with losing her dad. It can be so frustrating when we as parents can see the benefits in counselling to help us manage, but our teens aren’t trusting, or ready for help.
I had an interesting conversation with my cousin today about grief which I thought I’d share. She was telling me that her 24 year old son snapped at her, incredibly angry with her for separating from their dad. The first word about any upset of his, 13 years after the separation. She’s tried to talk with him about seeing someone but he won’t, not ready to deal with it yet. He’s been angry for a long time but kept the cause to himself for so long.
It can be a very hard line to find, because while the acting out and poor behaviour isn’t okay and needs boundaries and consequences, the reasons behind the behaviour need
care and understanding as well. I’ve had the same battle since my daughter suffered a trauma so I get how heartbreaking and frustrating the behaviour can be at the same time!
I find self care helps me manage the ups and downs of parenting. Do you have things you do just for you that make you feel good?
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