Hi! I have a 17 yr old, and an almost 13 yr old (July) and i am 39 so we are kinda similar. I had the issue of my ex (who is not the father of miss 17) not understanding either and it was very tough. Does your hubby understand anything about mental health issues at all? If not, i would suggest you try and get him onto pages like this or Beyond Blue or even Kids Helpline websites so that he can educate himself a little. For me, education has been the key, but sometimes, as in the case of my ex, i just had to tell him to let me deal with it as no matter how much we talked, he just didn't/couldn't get it. I know it's hard to access services right now but i wonder if you have had your daughter to see a psych at all? My eldest had great success with Headspace and seeing a psych through them and i am about to embark on finding a psych for my miss 13 as well as she is struggling with issues. With my eldest, although i helped her as much as i could, there is something about the advice coming from mum that just doesn't cut it, and i found that although Headspace gave her basically the same advice, she listened to it. It might be worth making a separate post in one of the forums about the issues you've mentioned here as i suspect this might get lost when others do intros after you. ... View more

Hi! I have found that i really need to pick my battles when it comes to chores. Is the thing i am asking them to do, absolutely necessary and will my life be forever impacted if they don't do it right now? Generally the answer is no. In our house (16 and 12) the bedrooms are theirs to keep however they like, the only time i intervene is if there is food in there, that is a big no in our house and must be cleaned up. The rest of the chores i will say (mainly on Saturday as the kids know that is our main cleaning day due to work) "ok, we need to clean the bathroom, kitchen and lounge room, who's doing what" this then ensues a discussion between the two of them about which job they want, and then i do what is left. They know that once they have done their part, they are free to go about their business as usual so it is usually met with little resistance as this is our routine. At first they grumbled and moaned a little, but once they realised we were ALL doing something, they were ok. Maybe you could try a similar approach? Have one day of the week that is cleaning day and at that time, EVERYONE (mum, dad, whoever) has a job, no one gets to sit and do their own thing until they've done their share. ... View more

Hi! I have an almost 17 year old daughter as well (this month) and she has had issues with iron the last few months which have definitely impacted her mental health. She would say to me "how can i be happy when i feel like crap all the time?" and that's when i started to understand how she must have been feeling. I am no professional but it does sound like it might be a good idea to get a mental health plan happening for your daughter, to try and figure out where the anger is coming from. We had my daughter get involved with Headspace and they were absolutely brilliant! My daughter also hated school by the end of grade 10, so she dropped out, with my blessing. School sometimes just isn't for all kids, and I think it is ok to acknowledge that. It certainly made a big difference to my girl, suddenly this huge weight and expectations were lifted off her shoulders. Of course, only you know your child and what will work best, just sharing my experiences for you. Maybe the anger is coming from a place where she might feel she has no control over anything? Anyway, this parenting gig is so tough at times, especially the lovely teenagers! Hang in there and i hope you can work out what is going on for your daughter. ... View more

1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh? My kids will be 13 and 17 this year and i am constantly getting shown these new songs that i have no idea about and getting told i'm getting old when i don't know them and we have a good laugh about it, sad thing is, i realise i AM getting old, but oh well LOL 2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down? Music is my saviour, and making sure i take time for myself 3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today? Was looking for ways to help my daughter with resilience, came across the Beyond Blue page, which led me to here. We are dealing with school refusal and a large part  I have recognised is that she seems to have very little resilience. 4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years? Talk about the hard stuff, talk about the yucky stuff, talk about the embarrassing stuff as it if were a normal conversation. Be open with them and give them some trust and hope that they use it well. 5. Whats the best thing about weekends? Being able to sit and do nothing if i don't want to, having no set times to be somewhere. ... View more

My eldest daughter left at the end of year 10 and has no regrets. School just didn't suit her, she is doing a course now and is loving it and will hopefully get a job at the end of it. We did try distance ed for her during the first half of grade 9 and she liked it enough, but she missed the social side of things so decided to go back to normal school. I also want to say good on your for getting this far, my daughter has started grade 7 this year and has gone maybe half the days so far and i am struggling to know what to do. We have also tried counselling but she refuses to engage with anyone. My daughter also doesn't express the same anxiety on weekend or holidays, in fact, she was so happy i was sure that high school would be a different scenario, but she didn't even make the first week, she had the Friday off and it's gone downhill from there. All advice is that IF i can get her to school, they can help, but therein lies my problem.......i cannot get her out of the house! They say to make home boring, and she doesn't care. ... View more