Hey @Hope_4  It is great to hear that you will be booking in a coaching session this week! I know you mentioned that you were researching around ADHD, and I thought I would share a post we have here around ADHD as well as a collection of resources we have here. I thought you might find these helpful to have a read through. We also have a youth community here which your daughter may be interested in joining. We have some spaces specifically for our neurodivergent community. We also have some resources around ADHD for young people here. Take care and all the best with the coaching service. ... View more

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Hi @natalie72  Thank you so much for contributing to the forums  Just a short note to let you know that we needed to remove the link you posted, so as to align with our Community Guidelines. Thanks for your understanding and continued support of others within the community  ... View more

Hi @Hopesprings123 , thank you so much for sharing your story and some really thoughtful advice, I'm sure it will resonate deeply with other parents in similar situations and offer them some glimmers of hope that things can improve.   I love your advice about giving your daughter sour gummies when she's struggling to manage her emotions. As a young person who has struggled with panic attacks, I always carry a packet of sour lollies in my bag just in case - it really does ground you! I'm glad to hear that you've found some useful strategies to help your daughter cope in some really challenging times. From the way you speak about her and the difficult experiences you've shared together, I can tell just how patient and compassionate you, and sometimes having a parent like that can truly make all the difference.    I hope that you'll keep us updated on how you and your daughter are progressing, and that others will draw strength from your story  ... View more

My son has always dreamed of becoming a pilot. And just recently, he got a license. It is a great happiness for me to see how my son achieves his goal. He had a dream and he did it. Difficulties were at the stage of job search. It was a pandemic period and there were few vacancies in the airlines. But I found an online resume writing service. He now works for an airline. Trust and support your children ... View more

you should only let her only have it in the morning and use it in family areas and take it away at night  your welcome ... View more

Hey @AmberP, that sounds like a really lovely tradition to have each week. It gives your family the chance to spend time together and chat about the week that has just passed! I love it and think it is important to make time for such things ... View more

Hi @AmberP, I think yoga is definitely a learning process. There are a lot of videos on YouTube and I think it is about finding a particular style of yoga or a yoga teacher that suits you the best. I would also advise to take it slow and be patient with yourself! If you feel like yoga isn't working out for you, you can always try something different too. There are benefits to other strength and exercise practices too! ... View more

Dear Moonshine, Sorry to hear about your situation and thankful for coming here and being so honest.  As an outsider without emotional connections, I'm tempted to recommend you exit stage left and really consider whether this relationship is really the one for you. Your relationship with his father might be great but is it enough to take on the son as they're a package deal? I'm just playing devil's advocate there, and I'm still married to the father of my children.  However, turning to the behaviour of the son, it sounds like some rules need to be set in place and some consequences. We have our ups and downs with this at our place and I hear many parents are also having trouble. However, it's quite realistic for him to say empty the dishwasher, or do the dishes while he's at your place and make his bed. We had star charts when our kids were younger and then they can get a reward. No consequences, puts him in charge and he rules the roost.  I am also concerned that he is struggling. You speak of his immaturity, dependency and the clincher for me is biting his nails. He seems anxious and unsure of himself. I'd imagine it would be hard going in between different houses and having to adjust to different people, especially step-parents. From his age, Id imagine he's in Year 6 going into Year 7 and on the cusp of a lot of changes in himself and social scene. He might be concerned about his place in your trio and there's that old adage...two's company, three's a crowd. Maybe finding something that the two of you enjoy could be a way forward.  The more I've thought through your situation, I'm more sympathetic with your step-son to be and optimistic that if you put some boundaries and consequences in place and work on building a connection, that things will improve. You will probably need to consult a psychologist who specialises in behavioural therapy to set the wheels in motion.   Meanwhile, I need to get our kids to do their chores.  Best wishes, Birdwings ... View more

Amber P, I'm glad you mentioned how influences outside the family home, particularly at school also affect our kids and can be behind what our teens are getting up to. That thought crossed my mind later. It can be easy to forget how intense, challenging and stressful things at school can be and our kids are also interacting with their friends and going through their situations as well. There's a lot of people interaction and school work and capacity for things to go well and equally pear-shaped.  When it comes to your own son, my feeling would be not to ignore what's going on but not to get all heavy about it. Maybe go on a few drives with your son and just have some good chats and maybe mention how you feel in a non-confrontational way. I think at 12 you're starting to build towards getting through the teenage years and ways of keeping communication open and connecting. Finding some activities you both enjoy such as board games, family computer games, bushwalks, movies just some way to stay connected and talking. Some how you need to know if your teen is getting into difficulties and keeping that communication open is good groundwork for that. There are times where it is quite difficult to reason with your teen bt if you have this good grounding, it makes the more difficult times much easier.  Running away has always seemed like a good option and a bit of a utopian thing for young people. The grass seems so much greener and maybe  utopian. We live near the beach and one of my daughter's friends is homeless and sometimes sleeps in a tent at the beach. It seems like bliss to our daughter and that has made it hard for me to take a hard line with her. However, I think she has enough sense to stay put and has turned a corner recently. At least, I hope she has.  ... View more

Hello! I feel you. As a foster child, I can say that it's not very difficult. My parents went through a bunch of checks and courses before they adopted me, and I have always been grateful to them for that. Love is not divided into "I love mine" and "I love not mine", it's just love. I am sure everything will be fine.  ... View more

Hi @AmberP, thank you for sharing. It sounds like this role modeling experience has had some positive and negative impacts for your family. Have you thought of chatting to your son about the difference between roleplaying vs. real life? For example, it is okay to play fight like seen on the TV, however it is not ok to hurt other people by hitting them or saying things that may hurt their feelings. It is definitely awesome that you are conscious of this behaviour in its early stages ... View more

It's great to hear that you have found the resources and responses to be helpful @Dadof3boys . I hope that you find Parentline to be helpful too when you call them up. Telling your son "stop I don't like that" when he behaves in that way is a great response on your behalf. Hopefully with further reinforcement, his behaviour will be a bit more manageable (sounds like it's on the right track already!). Getting him involved in some local sports group is also a great idea as it might be a helpful outlet for him. Sounds like you have thought a lot about supporting your son in the best ways possible, which is so great to hear  ... View more

Hi @AmberP, thanks for sharing that insight. You are right, it is normal to make mistakes especially as parent. You can't always get everything right. When you do make a mistake, it can help to apologise and communicate with your child about what has happened. This way you are modelling that mistakes are ok to make but it is also important to acknowledge the mistake and apologise if necessary It sounds like you are doing a great job if this is something you are aware and conscious of already! ... View more

Hi @mumto3 ,    That sounds like such a difficult situation, dealing with conflict between teenagers can be incredibly challenging- and I can completely hear you with being unsure of how to handle things if you're not sure who's telling the truth about what's happened.    I really like this video that Clare Rowe, a family psychologist, did for ReachOut talking about family conflict - one thing that she suggests is a family contract, where everyone sits down as a family and draws up a contract, where you set out expectations for how people will treat each other (for example speaking to each other respectfully, not swearing at each other etc) , and the consequences if those expectations aren't met. If everyone is involved in making the agreement, it tends to make it more likely that young people will buy into it- do you think something like that might work for your family? Are there any things in particular that often seem to cause conflict with your kids?    If you're interested, we do offer a free one to one support service either online or over the phone, with a family professional who can help   you come up with an action plan - it can sometimes help a lot to talk things over with someone else! You can read more about the service here. It's completely understandable that you feel like it's taking a toll on your mental health, do you have people in your life who can help to support you? Is there anything that you enjoy doing for self care to fill your own cup? Being a parent can be exhausting and speaking as a parent of 2 myself I can definitely say that self care is often kicked down to the bottom of the list for me - but it really is so important. We are always here for support or if you need to vent.   ... View more

Hello! I feel you! Maybe we all are the same, we are always worrying about not doing enough. But I am not sure you have to think like this! We can't be sure that everything will go as we want it, but be kind to yourself, love your children and they will love you back! Let's chat! ... View more

These are very good words! When I look at how my children are not afraid of difficulties, it inspires me. They are very surprised when I get upset about my work, they see no point in being sad. I think we have to learn such things.  ... View more

Hello @Hummbird, sorry to hear that you have been having these concerns lately. I can understand that you have been feeling concerned about your son and his wellbeing. I am wondering if you have had a chance to have a discussion with your son about your worries regarding him being able to drive alone? You might find opening up a conversation with him to be useful as you can let him know of your concerns and hear anything that he might have to say about them. ... View more

Hello, Joanne! I feel you. And I remember myself in my 14 y.o., it was such a hell for my parents. It is good that you are asking for advice, as many people try to simply ignore it. You should talk to the child, but if he does not make contact, try to find out something at school. They are watched, they can give behavioral evaluations. Maybe he does not feel needed or loved enough, or he needs attention or really thinks the way you wrote. Then there is nothing to be done; it is his choice. Be open and try to avoid shouting, you will only give him an understanding that he is right and you are not. ... View more

Thank you for your answer! Yes, I am pretty good! Since it's a quarantine I am sending my time with my boys, 3 and 8 years old. We are playing a board game and reading a lot but have no idea what to do tomorrow.  How are you spending your time? Best wishes.  ... View more