Over the past two years in particular, I have allowed some of my daughter's friends to come and stay for a few days here and there because of family issues. I did the same for this 'friend' of hers in February and he has never left.  His back story in summary: His mother asked him to move out following an incident with his younger brother that got violent. He has had a number of medical issues including:  - severe eczema - anxiety - some form of blood or skin disorder related to eczcema where lumps form on his skin and get infected - apparent depression   The idea was that he would stay until he could find somewhere to live. He sort of tried, but didn't. I was ok at first. I wasn't THAT keen on him living with my daughter, but we had just come out of a rocky two years of her being at college and we were getting on well. She was home more often etc.  She was working about 20 hours a week in fast food, but she and he spent the rest of the time in bed. All day. But then claimed to not be able to sleep at night.  For the first 5-7 weeks I was cooking meals most nights. He would eat them sometimes, but other times he was too sick to come upstairs.  During the first 4 months he was not paying any board, despite him receiving Newstart Student (apparently he was going to university, but never went. They would buy food and not share (after i had previously told them to NOT eat in her room). Eventually a few weeks ago I lost it after saying to my daughter that she and her partner spent all their time in the bedroom and only came and saw me when they wanted me to take them somewhere. My daughter apologised and said she would do better.  Two weeks ago I had had enough of asking my daughter when her boyfriend was getting a job. Everytime I would ask she would get angry. So two weeks ago I spoke to his mother. We had coffee and I said that he couldn't live with me. She said she had asked him if he wanted to come home but he never responded.  I had told him kindly a few days before he needed to get out of bed and get a job as it would help his mental health a bit.  So he agreed he would go in on a Monday (the first week of my annual leave). The morning came and I was taking my daughter to her new job (she now has two new jobs that she really likes). I asked if he was ready and she said that he wasn't well. I angrily got him out of bed and told him to go and speak to centrelink and to hand out resumes. My daughter told me I was mean and unfair to him as he wasn't in a good headspace. I asked her what about my headspace.  She had, a number of times over the past few months told me about situations where he had gotten angry with her about the littlest things. Skirt too short, not home quick enough etc.  I now try not to talk to her about him as it makes her angry and we fight.  All of her friends think he is controlling and selfish.  I want him to move out for my mental health and his mother has said he could move home but he won't. My daughter has accused me of making him feel unwelcome.  For the first few months I am fairly sure I was pretty tolerant. He stayed without paying ANY MONEY at all.  I would (and still do) pick them up from town.  I have had a talk with him about respecting me and my house and trying to get a job and sort his life out and start eating healthy etc. I can tell he isn't that interested.  I want him out, but I would also feel guilty if he was homeless.  When my daughter started her new job and told him she would spend some of her first paycheck on buying new clothes, he told her she shouldn't be spending her money on that, she should be saving for a car so they had more freedom and occasionally he would chuck her $20 if they wanted to go for a long drive.  I have stopped being so accommodating and she sort of gets it but she feels sympathetic to his cause and is basically making me feel like I am being mean and horrible to him. I know I have made a mistake by letting him ever stay and I am at the point where if I ask him to leave and she goes too, then our relationship will be broken permanently.  Sorry this is such an essay, but I am trying to fit 5 months of stress into one post. And this is the abridged version.  ... View more