Hey @Mumofteenboys
Thanks for sharing and welcome to the forums!
I can't say that I've been in your situation but I definitely understand your concerns. I think a lot of parents worry about their children slipping away when they reach adolescence and become a bit more independent. I can only imagine that feeling would be magnified in shared-custody situations, especially if the children demonstrate more interest in staying with the other parent. So I do really feel for you and understand and would be equally upset. I'm unsure whether this is a regular occurrence, but it does make sense that boys might want to spend more time with their dad, especially if they share similar interests... but I'm not too sure. This could also be happening because the younger brother wants to be with the older brother.
You mention having a strong relationship with your sons, so i'd just trust in that and I'm sure that in time, they will come around and start looking for you more. Generally speaking, children do notice when their parents care/love them, and so if you continue to provide them with love and care then chances are they'll appreciate that - maybe not so much during adolescence - but perhaps more-so as they get older.
You also have to remember that they are young so I guess to some extent you will have to "model" the sort of relationship you would like to have with them. So if that means speaking to them daily, then I'd encourage you to ring them daily. My mum calls me daily, and she has initiated that my whole life... sometimes I call her first but it is often her.
Again, thanks for sharing. I think many parents would benefit from this topic.
I thought I'd tag some parents here who may be able to relate to you or offer you some support.
@taokat @Lily17 @lizard0812 @Murgatroyd@tenacious_dad @Mitzi @LovingThruBlue @Caz01
