Hi @Trapet . I am so sorry to hear that your precious son is having such a terrible time . I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you , knowing there is so much going on in his smart introspective head but you can't access it ! It must be so frustrating for you and so difficult for him . Mental illness can often leave up feeling that it takes too much cognitive energy to talk , it takes enough emotional energy just to function , or we don't want to feel vulnerable , weak, or exposed , or a burden .
The key here maybe to find his language to make this process easier .
What does he enjoy ? Writing ? Drawing ? Basketball ? AFL , Cooking , Music ? These are are potential facilitators to access his thoughts . Straight talk therapy can often be a pain for a teenage boy when they are what I call in the " grunt" stage . This happens even when they are not sick ! Face to face " agenda " discussions can be too confronting .
Soooooo find his vehicle :
If it's basketball , shot hoops with him , half an hour or even 15 minutes early evening . At first, talk nothing in particular keep it to safe topics , sport , techniques, basketball players he admires , whatever . This may go on for a few weeks , slowly introduce talk of how he is faring in life in general . Opening up dialogue with safe topics can often be a foundation and catalyst for deeper topics further down the track . Make sure he does this activity with someone he respects , trusts and admires in the family ( dad ,grandpa, uncle , cousin etc ) Better if it's you or your partner but other family members or close friends can be a great resource .
Ask him if he could write down his thoughts if he loves to write . He may not want to share this with you initially but it's a start to a potential communication avenue in the future . A journal of his experiences would be a great way for him to articulate his feelings
. Tell him that many people go through what he is going through and will in the future, so you never know when his content could be become a resource for a self helpful book . His take on things and his experiences are unique ,worthwhile and important . It may help others in the future .
Tell him his insights are like poetry there is always something worthwhile to share . You can ask about them from time to time, if you show enough gentle interest from time to time without pushing him , he may open up when he's in a good mood .
If he likes writing lyrics for songs or raps - even better ! He will be more inclined to let your hear this as any potential artist would ! Praise the work before you start asking probing questions .
I wonder why he won't talk to the psychiatrist or the psychologist ? Sometimes we just don't click with one counsellor but can another . It's trial and error like any relationship . Maybe try a few more until he gels with someone who is on his level ? A good counsellor should have tools up their sleeve for a non- communicative client.
Hope this springboards some ideas . 😊
