Looking for advice on online schooling for my daughter

[Shep96]

Hi, I came across this group when I was searching on google, I have 4 children a son who just turned 19 and 3 girls who are 15,12 and 9, my eldest and youngest daughter both suffer anxiety, the 15hear old has it really bad she has suffered since she was 8 years old, since starting high school she has struggles with her school attendance she gets really bad anxiety attacks and has missed so much school, in saying that she’s quiet bright, her paediatrician reccomended online schooling for her this year, she’s going into year 10, I’ve looked into a few , I want one that is a virtual school where they are still taught by a teacher but online, has anyone done this with their child?

[Breez-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi there @Shep96 I have not got any knowledge in this area but shall tag some other members to see if they know of any options. I am sorry to hear about her bullying. It sounds like you're giving her tonnes of support which is wonderful.

What are your thoughts - @taokat @motherbear @Beingme2017 ?

[Breez-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi there @Shep96 I have not got any knowledge in this area but shall tag some other members to see if they know of any options. I am sorry to hear about her bullying. It sounds like you're giving her tonnes of support which is wonderful.

What are your thoughts - @taokat @motherbear @Beingme2017 ?

[taokat]

Hi @Shep96, welcome to the forum, I'm so glad you found ReachOut.

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's anxiety - it can be so disabling, and it's great that she's seeing a paediatrician. I'm wondering if they have ever mentioned counselling as another support for her? 

My daughter did distance education for 5 school terms, and finished Year 10 this year just gone. She was struggling immensely with the social side of school, and was refusing to attend which is why she was finally enrolled in distance ed. My daughter is bright too, but was not coping in that environment. In a couple of weeks she is starting her pathway to nursing at TAFE. 

For my daughter, distance education was the best thing we did. After a couple of months she was fully engaged back with schoolwork and doing really well, which wouldn't have happened otherwise.

It wasn't virtual schooling, in that she didn't attend virtual classes, but all of her work was done and submitted online, and the teachers are in close contact. All work is marked and feedback given by real teachers, and students can contact their subject teachers at any time, via phone or email. I thought it was run so so well, and my daughter's issues were nothing unusual for them. It was after a catch up at home one afternoon with a teacher that my daughter decided to start working. She's a hard nut to crack, and he cracked her within 15 minutes - awesome people!!

Let us know how you get on 

(I hope you don't mind but I moved your post so that it gets more exposure in the forums. I'd hate it to get lost in the introductions.)

I'd also like to invite you to Ab Fab Friday's, our parent chat night. It starts Jan 26th (tomorrow) at 8pm, AEDST. You can follow the link here to join us. I hope you can make it!

[Shep96]

Thank you so much for your reply, it’s so good to hear from other parents who have been or are going through the same thing, how exciting that your daughter is about to start studying nursing, you must be super proud of her my daughter wants to be a doctor, she sounds like your daughter she just doesn’t cope with crowds of people she has done counselling on and off over the years, she has been with a CAMS and also head space we have paid for private psychologist and she also sees a psychiatrist once a month which we travel 3 hrs each way to see, I feel like we are at our wits end, she has it in her head that nothing will ever help her and she will be like this forever, they have just recently changed her medication so I’m hoping it will help her, she is so scared and anxious all the time did you have to teach your daughter at all, my problem is I work atleast 3 days in the week so no one is home, I’m not at all worried about her being home alone , home is like her safe spot so she feels safe at home and she can focus and learn very well when she has no distractions and I know she would apply herself, I’m just trying to find a school that would suit her and her needs, what state are you in, can you give me the name of the school your daughter studied through , it’s so nice to talk to someone that understands, thank you again for your reply

[Shep96]

Hi Thanks for your reply she doesn’t get bullied the kids at her school are all beautiful and very supportive of her , she has been bullied in her past schools though, it’s just her anxiety, she has a massive fear that the world is going to end and she just always feels anxious and sick and gets panic attacks at school, home is her safe place where she doesn’t feel as stressed which also worries me as her psychiatrist tells me avoidance is the worst thing but her paediatrician tells me the opposite that home schooling for a while will be good for her, I don’t know what the best thing is , I know if she did online schooling she would be super organised and focused and would most probably do so much better with her schooling as the way we have been doing it where she goes to school just hasn’t been working as I just cannot get her there, I’ve practically dragged her and left her there hysterical in tears and it’s such hard work and then I worry about her all day, I feel homeschooling would work but I will also make sure she still sees her friends each week and still gets out, I’m thinking of enrolling her in singing lessons as she loves to sing and atleast that way she still has to go out so it’s not like she’s at home all the time , I just need to find a place that does online schooling that will suit her, it’s such a worry

[sunflowermom]

Hello

I'm still working towards getting my daughter back in school.  She wants to go but the anxiety and surroundings are too much for her. She would text me while crying uncontrollably in class, then throwing up. She is in her first year of high school.  I kept telling her "home school" is not an option and she agreed because she would miss her friends too much.  So I thought even if she could go a "partial day:  give her a reason to get dressed in the morning- that might work.  But so far she has been to school about 3 days since last October.  I'm trying not to freak out and I know she needs to get healthy before she can take on school.  It still weighs on my mind heavily but I don't tell her that.  Are you nervous about your daughter being home alone if she did online school or are you always with her?  My daughter self harms. I would be afraid to leave her a few hours a day alone while I am at work.

[Breez-RO]

Hey @sunflowermom sorry to hear about what you are experiencing with your Daughter. I needed to edit your  post due to method around self-harm, you can read about this further in the community guidelines.

[Shep96]

Hi,
I’m sure She would be fine at this stage she doesn’t self harm at all, it’s just the anxiety, I do think in her case home schooling would work but I would definitely have to make sure she still has time with friends and still gets out of the house, I do work so that worries me as I would be home some days but other days I work, I do trust her and I feel for her as she really wants to do well with school it’s just that the anxiety holds her back

[motherbear]

Hi there  I am so sorry you and your daughter are struggling It sounds as if things have been tough for you guys recently . I don't know much about virtual schooling I know there is an ACE program in Victoria that helps kids who don't  fit in per se . They go to school  one day a week and then are supported with homework for the rest of the week . 

Anxiety : some things to think about : 

1. Challenge her each day to do something that  " scares her "  Make is small , simple and achievable . Across time this will be so powerful . She will gain confidence and a sense of achievement and mastery . 

2. Get her to do daily work sheets on " challenging your negative thoughts " Anxiety is created from fear producing thoughts . If she learns to exercise the " muscle " of intercepting her thoughts and challenging those thoughts with " where is the evidence ? " She will learn to empower herself to deal with her  sometimes precarious uncertain environment . Learning to self sooth and replace the negative catastrophic thinking with realist and positive thinking is imperative to anxiety management . 

There are some great resources you can find online. Best of luck ! 😊

[taokat]

Hey @Shep96, yes, thank you, I am proud of my daughter, and so relieved! I think she needed the time to get herself to a place where she can manage better with the world. Everyone used to say to me that her mental health was more important than her education at this point, because if she couldn't function she wasn't going to get an education anyway. That's awesome your daughter wants to be a doctor! She may always have anxiety, but she will learn ways to manage it so it doesn't take over, and I so hope she keeps following that dream. 

We're in NSW and my girl was enrolled at Sydney Distance Education High School. I didn't have to do any teaching at all. She had access to her teachers if she needed help, plus they have study hubs and different things at the school you can attend. Teachers kept in contact with me to give me updates. If my daughter was having a particularly tough time I'd let them know to keep them in the loop. 

It can be so hard around work @sunflowermom. I had to resign from work as my daughter wasn't safe on her own either, but refused to go to school. My boss was so understanding for as long as he could be, I was so lucky. I really hope you guys can work out a solution that's not so drastic. Is there anybody else that could be with your daughter while you're at work maybe? 

I appreciate to talking with others going through this too - it's really comforting knowing we're not the only ones. I felt like I was such a failure because I couldn't get my kid to school. If only I'd known the benefit distance ed would give her, I wouldn't have stressed so much! 

Hey @motherbear, i just had to edit your post to remove the link as they need to be pre-approved by ReachOut. Just send it through to the email in the guidelines and they'll check it out