Talking to teenagers about drinking

[YellowMango]

Hi All

I'm wondering about what your thoughts are on drinking in the teenage years. I am aware that the safest thing to do is to encourage young people not to drink because it can affect how their brain develops, but have parents got suggestions on how to help their kids know that you don't have to drink to have fun?

YM

[HalleysComet]

I remember what I was like as a teen, it's not realistic for some to say not to drink at all... I think it does help to talk about how to do it safely...

[readthemanual]

I don't have any suggestions as my girl is yet to come to that staged. However, I was talking to a friend who has a 19yo son last night. She said what put him off drinking too much was when he saw a beautiful young lady drank too much and throw all over and made a scene.

[Jacew]

Hi YM
Such a difficult subject as the discussion depends on the maturity of the individual which makes it even harder. US the illegal age is 21 yo and if you look at their stats on Cystal Meth use it is off the radar. Then we consider the legal age for alcohol in Rome is 16 yo I do not here the same levels for drug use in this area.
For me it is the way we expose our youth and what we they see in this influentual period of the life.
I don't think either of the above are correct and we need as parents to be reading their young folk and exposing them with the best opportunity for them. We know them the best and need to treat them with respect and understanding of we want them to communicate back to us.
Jace

[Jacew]

HalleysComet
I agree it is going to be hard for the youth to say no.
Looking back I played a lot of sport and it was the norm after the legal age to hit the pub after a match.
I went through periods of saying NO and way more periods of saying yes.

It's a challenge I agree.. I only wish I could add more than my person experience.

That's for adding such a challenging topic i hope the team can add more of their personal experiences.

[StHubbins]

Good question!

Saying 'don't drink becuase it can effect your brain' is not going to work!  Teenagers are going to try things - alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, taking risks.  It's part of being a teenager and working out their own boundaries.  As a father to an 18yo and a 19yo, just outright saying 'no' has never worked.  You need to try to have a conversation where you explain what the risks and the downsides are.  That you might make a dick of yourself and throw up all over that girl / boy that you like etc etc.  And don't pretend that being a but drunk sometimes isn't ok.  And don't be a hypocrite by having this conversation when you're smashed!

I've always found with my girls, the best results from these conversations happens when both of us are as honest as possible, and I treat them like the young adults that they are.

[tenacious_dad]

Hi there @YellowMango 

Such a difficult conversation and topic! Unfortunately we live in a culture that still sees drinking as a rite of passage. It is really an uphill battle trying to teach our kids "responsible drinking" when all their peers drink to get drunk.

I teach apprentices and can still identify with the conversations they have about drinking. Things have changed very little since I was an apprentice (about 30 years ago ). 

Personally I try teach my sons that moderation is key. They are going to drink, I know and accept that but I hope that they won't over do it. I also try to make them understand the risks involved and that I will ALWAYS be there if they need me. I would rather be a 24hr Uber service than have to go to the police station or, worse still, hospital.

Also, doing fun things with your teens that don't include drinking is important.  Kids do model a lot of their behaviour on cues from their parents. I'm not a perfect example of this but! I like to have drink occasionally along with BBQ's, camping trips, socialising with friends, etc. But I'm pretty sure that they know it is not essential for having fun. They DO see me have fun without a drink. 

[Jacew]

Great inside observation @tenciousdad

[Sophie-RO]

It is really hard when all around us there is reinforcement that drinking is part of the national culture!

Love the ideas about role modelling and doing fun things with your teens that don't include drinking...

Cheers

[readthemanual]

second thought: if the children are to drink anyway, why don't we let them drink and test their boundaries at home? Will it help?