Know any new Dads?

[Sophie-RO]

Hey guys, do you know any new Dads? I know many of you are past the baby phase but beyondblue has launched the pretty funny campaign called Dadvice (dadvice.org.au). Check out the videos that will help new dads understand that they’re not alone if they’re finding first-time fatherhood tougher than expected. So let's support dads by sharing these new videos!

Behind the campaign is that in 2015, beyondblue commissioned independent research on the mental health of fathers across Australia:

• 39% of first time fathers surveyed were found to have experienced high levels of psychological distress in the first year of their child’s life.
• 79% of dads felt the need to be ‘the rock’ for their family with 47% of dads saying this caused them a lot of stress and anxiety.
• 43% of first time dads saw anxiety and depression after having a baby as a sign of weakness.

What do you think, does this sound about right to you dads out there? 

Paging @tenacious_dad @StHubbins @Jacew @SparkyMark @crash @waldo_pepper @williamsun @Pokie @the_judge @Bullyboy

What do you remember from when  you were a new dad?

[waldo_pepper]

My days as a new dad - I don't remember much but a few impressions still remain.

I felt very, very inadequate to care for and nurture this new little person. I jumped at every sound he made. His mum did a much better job than I did. Still and all, after a week or so I started to get the idea with some coaching from her ladyship.

I think the major problem was that I came into it without much thought, I hadn't done any "armchair flying" and so was totally unprepared. The good news is that I got the idea quickly and learned to trust my instincts as did his mum. I don't recall any personal mental health issues, just some stress. Once we, my wife and I, sat and talked through our feelings and worries, things got better quickly. Grandparents are pure gold in this situation, especially when they know not to intrude but just "be there" for us.

I felt plenty of stress and more than a little anxiety but my wife and I talked it through and found that we were in the same boat in these areas so we teamed up and it got better. We were very blessed that the babe settled well and was not a fractious one. I can see how easily things could go bad with a difficult first baby when you have no support from family nearby.

As for being "the rock", I always feel that to a certain extent. This is my family and I need to take responsibility for their well being. A big but is that if you're a team, husband and wife, then the pressure eases a lot. Seeing anxiety and depression as a sign of weakness is, IMHO, totally wrong and destructive to the person involved. The strongest man can be depressed. The strongest man can be anxious about some things. that's life. What matters is how you handle it - do you admit to yourself that "I'm not doing too well with this" and bend your best mates ear a bit or try to "tough it out"? Have a beer or two with a good mate and talk it over is my advice, it worked for me. If that doesn't work for you, take yourself off to your GP and get some help. None of us is so mentally tough that nothing shakes us, not one. So admit you're human and get some help if necessary. Real men know their limits and get help when they are exceeding these limits in any area of life.

Sophie-RO, I hope this ramble helps.

[Mitzi]

That was a beautiful, thoughtful response @waldo_pepper.

[Sophie-RO]

Loved reading this thoughtful and open response @waldo_pepper - thanks so much! I'm sure many other Dads can relate.....

[mums_taxi]

Hi!

I'm a Mum, and not a dad, but I've been seeing the ads for Beyond BLue's Dadvice campaign all over the net lately! Wasn't sure what it was about, so I clicked on the vids - - - and they are awesome!!

I think it's a great initiative, and admittedly, new dads these days are much better equipped and savvy (in my opinion), and they have access to heaps more resources than say twenty years ago. Nevertheless, I was surprised by the stats you quoted, Sophie.

Will be interesting to see the impact of the Dadvice campaign!

[readthemanual]

@Sophie-RO and @mums_taxi yes, it is interesting to see how the project will develop and the impact of it.

To me, I always have this idea of parents' school, where would-be parents can learn to know about life with children and possibly gain a license, which does not sound so liberal though. So any projecgts that endeavor to equip parents are worthwhile.