Connect and chat with other parents/carers: what do you do when your teen refuses to seek help?

[TOM-RO]

Hello @Hopesprings123,  It sounds like a very stressful situation for the both of you, so it’s great to hear that you and your daughter have been talking about this. We actually have a Youth forum that is a safe and controlled environment where she could read about people in similar situations or join in on the conversation. This may help her feel more understood and give her a place where she can go to for a fresh insight. Headspace also offers a similar forum.

[Birdwings]

Hi GW,

Reading through your post seems to leave me with a question, more than an answer for you and others here: What is the point of seeking professional help? If you're simply looking for advice for a problem, then the Internet might be sufficient. Of course, not all information on the net is helpful. However, you could mount an argument that seeking advice online is more self-sufficient and empowering. However, I think it helpful to get a range of opinions and the danger of DIY research is finding someone tells you what you want to hear, or that you could lose perspective and overinflate or minimise your problems. I firmly believe everyone needs people who say no. Otherwise, you can end up being really unbalanced and a caricature of yourself like Michael Jackson. 

What I like about professional help, is they've been well trained and they see lots of different people and have a broad reference base. They can also help you implement your changes. 

Our daughter has refused to go to the psychologist and I've had to step in there. At the moment that's okay. Our son should be seeing his OT and psychologist but refuses so I see them instead and try to implement things that way. 

I hope this helps.

Best wishes,

Birdwings 

[MaryRO]

Hi @Birdwings,

It's great that you have found methods and techniques that work for you children and are implementing them. Knowing when it is ok support your children and knowing when issues are out of your scope is a powerful stance to take and it sounds like you are aware of what you can handle and what your children need right now. It can be a challenge for parents when they are not able to support their children, not know where to turn and have a sense of powerlessness regarding obtaining the services that their children require. 

Yes, the internet can be both helpful and unhelpful at times and sometimes we need to be diligent with the advice we take on. At times we may need to do more research than at other times. These are the benefits and downfalls of our electronic age.

By all means if what you're doing is working out for you that's great. If you ever need support, please do not hesitate to ask.   

[Birdwings]

Hi ERCALL,

I just wanted to acknowledge your message and the enormous stress and heartache you're going through. I don't know if you have any idea about what is triggering your teen's meltdowns. With these difficulties accessing professional help, I was wondering about ways you might be able to drop the stress/triggers down a few notches at least to keep them safe. Dogs or pets can be very good, long walks, singing/chanting, running, immersing yourself in nature. A friend of mine who went through a gruelling battle with breast cancer including the removal of three brain tumours told me how standing in the water at the beach melted her troubles away. She also enjoyed kayaking. 

Meanwhile, are you getting any support? What are you doing to help yourself get through this? Have you been in touch with Carers? You also need to survive. 

I hope that helps.

Best wishes,

Birdwings 

[Hopesprings123]

@TOM-RO thanks for the link to the forum. I am going to share this with my daughter and i feel if she can feel like she is not the only one of her age going through this, she may feel less isolated. thank you. Btw, I only just figured out how to reply properly! I think..

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @Hopesprings123 

That is lovely to hear you're going to share the link for the youth forum with your daughter, it is a lovely supportive community and I'm sure she will feel welcome there if she decides to join 

Also your reply looks like it went through all correctly on our end - let us know if you have any questions about this