02-13-2019 03:42 PM
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and we thought we’d open up the discussion!
Is this day a big deal for your teen?
Do you talk about romance with them?
Romance and Valentine's Day can be confusing and intense for young people - there’s a lot of pressure to be in a relationship, and everything is super new, scary, exciting.
There are a lot of important discussions you might be wanting to have or are already having with your teen about sexuality, boundaries, consent, how to respect a partner, and how to cope with a break up etc.. and valentine's day can really bring these things to the forefront.
We have some information and ideas on how to support and connect with your teen about romantic relationships here .
We want to hear from you:
- What do you think about Valentines day? Is it a fun day for you / your teen, or does it bring up anxiety and stress?
- Do you have any tips to share on how to best communicate with your teen about romance?
- What are you worried about when it comes to teen-relationships and first loves?
- How do you support your teen to be single and enjoy valentines day?
Our youth website asked some young people for their insights if you’d like to have a read of them here.
02-14-2019 09:52 AM
Anything you want to share is fine - even a quick reflection on today and if it's any different to other days (most often its not! And the hype is really built up in the media and advertisements!)
02-14-2019 11:52 AM
Actually, we’re not big on Valentine’s Day in our house. (Or many of the ‘commercial holidays’). We try to encourage random acts of romance instead and use it as a reminder. Fortunately, none of our school, family or social groups are big on Valentine’s Day either so they don’t feel much pressure.
As for romantic relationships, we try to encourage them to chose someone who makes them feel good about themselves, challenges them to be a better person. Teen relationships tend to be about learning about yourself and what you want in a relationship. They should be fairly fun but it’s ok to take them seriously. I am very vocal about not needing someone to ‘complete’ you, especially with the girls. We’re also fairly lucky in that they don’t seem to need to spend all their time together. In fact, we’re fairly strict on social times during school terms.
We use humour a bit when it comes to consent. I joke about waiting till their 30 to have sex and we practise how to say ‘no’ to things. HINT say it like all the times I’ve asked if you’ve unpacked the dishwasher or cleaned your rooms. They roll their eyes but love it. It helps that I joke a lot so they know how to take it. I do talk to them as a couple about making good choices, and how their choice could affect me 😁😂😄 and if they need help making good choices ask me. When the middle child has tickling wars with her bf and she says ‘no more’ hubby will always reinforce with “No means no bf!”. We actually use this in lots of scenarios (even just choosing a movie) so all 3 kids get the idea and respect it automatically.
Funnily enough, it’s our boy who seems most comfortable talking about sex with us so have no hints for that. He just does.
02-15-2019 10:01 AM