Why do I need to sign a parent coaching agreement? Our parent coaching agreement aims to help you feel confident that you are receiving a high quality service from us, but also helps us know you commit to the process, which is the best way to achieve positive results for your family. The agreement sets out the ways we will successfully work together and outlines what you can expect from us and what we expect from you. It also lets you know how we keep your private information safe.   What is the difference between parent coaching, counselling and therapy? Parent coaching is a relationship focused on helping you become the parent you want to be for your children.  The coach’s role is to provide education, support and encouragement as you begin to implement new strategies and techniques with your teenager. We will work in partnership with you to find the solutions that work for you and your family – you are the expert on your family. We focus on your current challenges as a parent and the future, because no matter what has happened in the past, any parent can improve their relationship with their teenager. Counselling and therapy are different to coaching as they focus more on dealing with issues and challenges from your past and how these impact your current mental health. When you seek help from a counsellor or therapist, they guide you to a deeper understanding and management of your mental health concerns. If during our conversations we feel that you or your teenager would benefit from therapy or counselling as opposed to coaching, we will encourage you to seek support from a qualified mental health provider in your area and help you find someone suitable.    What are the coach’s professional backgrounds? All our Parenting Coaches are degree level qualified in Social Work, Psychology or Health and come with years of experience supporting parents, children and young people.   How much does parent coaching cost? Our funding through the Department of Social Services means we can provide all our services for FREE.   When are appointments available? We offer a range of flexible appointment times – we know parents are busy! Appointments are available during the day or in the evenings to suit your schedule – just check our online booking system for availability.   What if I need to cancel an appointment? We ask that you reschedule in the online booking system as soon as possible if you need to cancel or change your appointment time. Whenever possible, 24 hours notice from you is really helpful. This enables us to support other parents waiting for our service.   Does my teenager need to be involved? No. This service is for you as the parent/carer. We believe that you are the most important person in your teenager’s life and by helping you find solutions; you can then best support your teenager through this unique developmental stage. It is a common misconception parents have that adolescence is a time of separation from parents, when in fact, your role in supporting, empathising, guiding and setting boundaries for your teenager is crucial.   My parenting partner and I see a situation differently. Can you help us? Yes. One of the challenges of parenting together is that each of you brings your own perspective and ideas on how to manage and approach issues with your teenager. Parenting cooperatively together is an important skill that leads to healthier relationships and happier teenagers and we will support you to find solutions that you both agree on. ... View more

ReachOut Parents Coaching - Frequently Asked Questions   What is Parents Coaching? Our parenting coaches work in partnership with you to be the parent (or carer) you want to be and achieve effective and positive relationships with your teenager. You may want to feel less stressed, more confident or relate to your teenager more effectively. A coach helps to clarify what you want, what’s working and what's getting in the way. Together you’ll develop a plan with you to move forward and the coach supports you with effective parenting tools and strategies. It’s then up to you to implement the goals and strategies decided on during coaching sessions. A coach is not a counsellor in that the focus is not on the problem, but on the solution and the way forward.   Is Parents Coaching for me? Coaching is open to parents and carers who are Worried about their relationship with their teenager and their behaviour or wellbeing. Your teenager needs to be aged between 12 – 18 years of age. You need access to a desktop or tablet and a phone What Can I Expect? Step 1 – Registration - we get the information to help us help you the best we can - it may take about 20 minutes to complete. Step 2 – Schedule an appointment time for the first session - ‘Understanding My Teenager’. Before your appointment you watch the recommended short video in preparation for the session. Step 3 – A Parenting Coach will contact you by phone at your requested time and chat about your needs. We listen to your concerns about your teenager, help you set goals and develop an Action Plan. We also help you make a decision about a further session. Step 4 – Depending on your circumstances the focus of further sessions could be on ‘connecting’ with, ‘communicating’ with, or ‘supporting’ your teenager. During these sessions, we could review which parts of your Action Plan worked and what didn’t; we might use tools and resources to support you. Remember - it is important to watch the recommended video before each scheduled session as it will help you to get the most out of your coaching time.   Step 5 – One month after your last session we will contact you for a brief ‘Follow Up’ session to see how things are working and if you would like further support from us.   How many parent coaching sessions will I need? Our coaching program has an initial ‘Understanding My Teenager’ session that may be completed alone or followed by any of three further sessions and there is also a brief ‘Follow Up’ session at the end. You do not have to commit straight away to completing all of them. In your parent coaching agreement with us, you commit only to doing your best for yourself and your teenager. You may stop at any stage. After each session your Coach will help you decide if another session would be helpful. ... View more

Hi @taziness   How did it go? Did you and your daughter get through this ok?   ... View more

Welcome @Jobetz  @Fingerscrossed  @Ladder It's so wonderful that you've found us! We'd love an opportunity to meet you and get to know you. So please feel free to say hi here and answer the questions below. Or just say Hi! It's completely up to you.   Time for new questions.   how many kids you care for and their ages? what's the biggest concern in your life right now? your favourite way to treat yo'self? what's one thing your kid has taught you recently? what's one question you have for us?   ... View more

My middle child is the one most like me of my kids. It makes her equally easy and hard to parent. Easy because I know exactly what she's thinking. Hard, because I know EXACTLY what she's thinking.  ... View more

Hi @LovingThruBlue   It must have been so difficult managing everything while the school changed their mind. Did they stick to their final decision of no assessments? ... View more

My vent:   When my daughter is being super mean to me and her brother and when I ask her why she'll say "I can't help it, I'm really tired / hungry / pre menstural" and then I'll hear her answer her phone all "hey you, what's going on blah blah blah" just a vision of friendliness. Sometimes I would give a limb to be treated like her friend.   I know we don't have to do this but...   Flip side of this - she feels safe enough with me and her brother to be her authentic self. She knows we're here for the long haul and she doesn't have to win our love. ... View more

Hi @johneriffic   How are things with your son? Any improvement with his school situation? ... View more

Hey @Lizzy   How's it going? Things were really difficult a couple of weeks ago, did they get any better? Did your fairy come and wave that wand? ... View more

A big RO Welcome to our new members -  @MrsKelsong, @Needsainity, @Merrion & @Pilbaraparent   It's wonderful to have you here. Please feel free to jump in here and introduce yourselves. :)  ... View more

Hi @Aussiemom   Thanks so much for the update. It's wonderful to hear that he's doing so well. It sounds like he might be feeling happy. Is that how it feels to you? How is he and the family managing his distance education? I know you had some concerns. Did it turn out better than you thought or is it difficult? ... View more

Hi @DameZola,   How are things going with your daughter? Did things get better? ... View more

Hey @Aussiemom   Thanks so much for the update! So sorry to hear about his suspension. What a kick in the teeth. And just when your son was doing so well. I'm confused about why the Principal agreed to not expelling him and yet he has to finish via distance education. It sounds like the outcome is essentially the same thing. Or am I missing something? How's your son coping with all this? ... View more

Hey @Concernedmum   How have things been going with your daughter? Any improvements? Did you get any further with the bi-polar issue? ... View more

I'm not currently reading it but have done a number of times. It's: Teenagers, Alcohol and Drugs  What your kids really want and need to know about alcohol and drugs by Paul Dillon.  He's an Australian expert in the field of young people and drug and alcohol use. He set up DARTA (Drug and Alcohol Research & Training Australia) and presents all over the place. This book is just super practical and really informative for parents. It's nice and small so you can read it in a fairly short time. It's also very easy to read, not academic at all. I think it's a great book for parents of teens to help formulate an approach to alcohol and drug use.   What about you, @Needsainity Any books you would reccommend for parents or are you reading anything for joy at the moment or recently? ... View more

Hi @Elena   Welcome to ReachOut Parents. So lovely to read your post. It's wonderful that you were able to work out what was the root cause of your daughter's issues and support her with lots and lots of love.   Are the other people in your daughter's life as loving? Has her experience of coming out been mostly positive or not? ... View more

Welcome to ReachOut Parents @Needsainity   I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties your family is facing. These transformations that teenagers go through sometimes can be incredibly distressing. We never know if this is something we should ignore and wait out or whether we need to be pro active and encouraging them to make changes. Especially because teenagers will often resist no matter what option we take. Sometimes it can help to remember that these situations are usually hardest for the teenager living through it. Which of ciourse doesn't make it less difficult for parents. The medical assessment sounds like a good option, how open is your son to going?   There are many parents here who have been through similar situations, @just-me might be willing to share what steps are working and not working for them at the moment. And @StHubbins has offerred some great insights into young people and mental health difficulties.   If you have a moment, please jump in here and introduce yourself. We are a new community, but a growing one, and we are always very excited to hear a new perspective.   Anything you're not sure about, don't feel afraid to ask. We are a friendly bunch. :)  ... View more

Hi @AnxiousMum   How did it go with your daughter? Did you get an appropriate reesponse from the school? ... View more

Hi @jdbza   So lovely to hear back from you.I'm so sorry to hear that you had a health issue of your own, right at the time you're stretched to your limits in helping others. You're doing an amazing job btw. Really, amazing. I personally can't think of much to add that you're not already doing. My opnly suggestion would be to try and keep your own health as much of a priority as possible. Wonderful to hear you've got an appointment on the 23rd. In the meantime, the Cancer Council have info for carers here but there's a good chance you've already come across it. I absolutely love the idea of the book for your neice. It's very special to create a resource for someone in need that speaks directly to who they are as a person. Knowing that your neice finds safety and comfort in being able to read about the issue and refer back to it when needed, and then developing something that you know suits her, shows what a wonderful Aunt and carer you are. Don't forget to use Reach Out Parents for support too. You might even find that sharing your experiences with others can be helpful for you.    Are there things you do to self care that work for you in times like this? ... View more

Well done @seaglecc sounds like you all handled this beautifully. And well done on raising a daughter who not only understands the importance of asking for advice when she's unsure of things but talks to you about what's happening even when she knows she may not get exactly what she thinks she wants. There's a lot of young people who would have done ALL of this 'off radar' and a lot of parents who are the last to know. Congrats!   I'm also getting from your posts the importance of communicating with the bf or gf's parents. Did that come about from this situation or did you know each other already?   And I can't wait for the "Sex ed for Grandparents" thread. :)    ... View more

Hi @Polhon   How did it go? Did the present help? ... View more

  Great suggestion @Kalis.   I also learnt about the approach of asking questions that make them think and recollect their day, like your friend does. Asking things like:  "what made you laugh today?" "what scared you?" "what inspired you?" and a really good one is "if you could go back, what would you do differently?" This can really open up the conversation.   Would this be an approach you could use to check in with your son to see how he's going each day @hippychick ?     ... View more

Hey @jdbza   How did things go with your sister and niece? I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering if things went ok.   ... View more

It's a huge topic this one, isn't it! Addressing issues related to alcohol and drugs is always tricky, but especially so with alcohol. The fact that it's legal and so socially acceptable while at the same time having so many health warnings about regular or excessive use, makes it a bit of a minefield as far as parenting goes.   All the latest research says delay, delay, delay. For young people to wait as long as possible before they start drinking is the ideal approach for their brain, but clearly there's value in a range of approaches, including encouraging a relaxed relationship with alcohol, like the French and Italians do.   I'm really interested to hear what helped you decide on your approach. @readthemanual, @mumlittlehelper and @Mitzi what helped you guys decide how you would deal with the alcohol issue in your home? ... View more

Hey @Andiema   I noticed your use of Mom. Is it possible you're based in North America? As you may have realised, Reach Out Parents is an Australian service. You're very welcome here, it's very difficult when we have a child in crisis, so any support you get from RO is wonderful, you just may find something local has more relevance to you.   How was the seminar? Did it provide you with some good tips? ... View more

Hey @Andiema Welcome to Reach Out.   I've posted a hello here but I can't suggest others answer these questions if I haven't done it yet myself.    1. 23,13,6 - The other day my 6 year old son was playing with another kid at the park and he stopped and said to the boy "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." I thought that was pretty funny.  2. Breathing is my go to when things are getting stressful. Long, slow, breaths. Then focusing on my breath. That usually gives me enough pause to de-escalate enough. 3. I'm happily reading posts and learning how amazing everyone is. 4. Remembering what it was like for me has made a big impact on my parenting. Actively reminding myself what it felt like to be a teenager has really helped me decide how to approach things. 5. Staying in pyjamas all day. The kids and I call them 'lazy days'. And we have them so often we could probably just rename them 'weekends'. ... View more