Hi @NywvmomTo2 . I am so sad to hear what is happening to your boy at school . This must be devastating for you . There is a saying " you are only as happy as your unhappiest child " , it must be so painful to watch and heart breaking for your son . Well done for reaching out to us .
My first reaction when I read your post was anger ! How dare he be subjected to such treatment at his high school . This is NOT OK , and must be nipped in the bud yesterday . Ongoing bullying can have massive repercussions and the fallout for the future can be very damaging . It's needs to be treated with the same importance and urgency as any other kind of abuse - because that's what this is . The school should have an anti bullying policy and it might be a good idea to make an appointment with the wellbeing co-ordinator as well as the Principal together . You have to be a squeaky wheel and get in their face ! They will only give it enough energy and imperative if you drive the bus and you are his strongest advocate . So phone them for updates always .
Ask them : What are your strategies for bullying ? When do they act ?
What are the consequences for children who bully and how do you protect children from ongoing bullying if it does not stop ?
Insist on a plan with measurable outcomes . Get it in writing if you have to , so you have a come back when things don't change for the better .
You need need clear verification from them that they will act on their decisions and follow through . There is often a lot of talk that goes on in the room but the follow through can be patchy, ad hoc or at its worst not implemented and can change once they hear the so called " other side " .
Document everything your son tells you , keep a record with dates , times and reactions . Bring it to your meetings . Be clear and specific .
If he is willing get him to link up with the school counsellor on an on going basis so they can keep an eye on his mental health .
Your son : Making friends .
I tell my teens who are having problems with loneliness to practice questions they can ask Kids at school .
Hey , what did you do on the weekend ?
What sort of music , movies , video games you like ?
What sport do you play , did you watch the footy on the weekend . What did you think ?
We sit and brain storm lots of different topics and style of questions .
I tell them that people LOVE talking about themselves and feel good when others show interest in them as individuals.
This may start of in small momentary increments and over time , he will build rapport and a friendship may blossom .
Tell him that shy people have difficulty initiating conversations and to find kids in the class who seem a little alone and strick up a chat . They will appreciate his efforts and quiet , reserved people can turn into the most loyal and steady friends across time .
Tell him that kids who are bullies have issues with their sense of self and their own lives and even though it may seem it's about him , it's really about them and what they have yet to learn about respect , dignity and self worth .
When he has created connections through school start to initiate those potential friends coming over , movie nights , playing video games together , swimming days etc . Anything that he enjoys doing . The more you give out the more things come back to you over time .
Get him involved in sports or activities out of school , like karate , scouts , chess club . He will meet friends there who can help to be a buffer to what is going on at school .
Best of luck , let us know how you go !
