Topical Tuesday: Best thing and toughest thing about being a parent to a teen

[Jess1-RO]

Topical Tuesday 21/8/18:

The best thing and the toughest thing about being a parent to a teen

Thank you to @taokat for this suggestion for Topical Tuesday…. What is the best thing and the toughest thing about being a parent to a teen?

This topical tuesday will explore the experience of being a parent to a teen:

1. What are the highlights/best thing about being a parent? and;
2. What the toughest thing/challenges you may face?

We would love to hear from you about your experiences with your teen/child!

[Jess1-RO]

@Beemum @Bren-G_ @hippy_mum @Happy @Monty777 @taokat @CoogeeMagic2018 @PositiveWhisper @Helpful_Mum @Moggy3kids 

[Jess1-RO]

@sunflowermom @Tulip

[Helpful_Mum]

The best thing about being a mum to a teen is the profound moments of personal growth that my teens contribute to.  Seeing the world from their perspective is amazing!  The toughest part of being a mum to a teen is walking with your teen through difficult times and knowing you cannot cushion life's knocks like you did when they were little.

[Faob_1]

Best thing about being a teen’s parent is watching them become independent and choosing to uphold the same values as you, asking questions and asking for support as they make their own way.

The most difficult thing is recognising that when the relationship has broken down severely and you face destruction of your home, and physical violence, that the best thing to do to protect everyone is to remove the teen from the home. The road back to a relationship will be extremely long and it is heartbreaking to know you may never both be on that road. That’s the tough stuff.

[sunflowermom]

The best thing about being a parent  is watching her laugh, be silly or just see joy in her face.  I enjoy the times we steal as mother  and daughter eating lunch somewhere and joking about something or shopping together.  Easy comfortable relaxed times shared together is something I cherish most in life.

The toughest thing is seeing my daughter struggle and seeing her cry.  I see her struggle with her mental health, seeing her struggle with loneliness and her own self worth. To see her in mental pain and anguish is the most heartbreaking part of being a parent.  Just allowing the process of these feelings without trying to "bandage" everything leaves me feeling helpless.

[taokat]

The best things for me parenting my daughter, are seeing her mature and work out her values in life. She has a brilliant sense of humour and I love seeing her relaxed, comfortable, and being her gorgeous self. I love listening to her talk about things she’s learnt because despite her huge educational gaps she actually has an amazing wealth of knowledge on a wide variety of subjects. 

The toughest thing for me without a doubt is the emotion involved in parenting. The worry, fear, frustration, anger, sadness, heartbreak to name a few. Being unable to make everything okay for my daughter is a bitter pill to swallow, and being my own harshest parenting judge and critic is something I struggle with as well. 

[hippy_mum]

The best thing about being a parent to teens is watching them excel in their passions and pursuits. Watching them show strength, determination and commitment, both physically emotionally and socially. Seeing them do the best that they possibly can, in all they do, brings me so much admiration, love and pride. This is especially true when you're a single parent, and have been for 15 years with no one else's support or help. Seeing these moments of success and feeling this pride makes all that I've done for them, all the tough times, on my own, seem kind of validated.

The toughest thing about being a parent of a teen, especially since I'm on my own, is finding the compromises with them with no support and making all the decisions, without any other adult to help. Splitting yourself three ways between them, constantly knowing that someone is missing out and in time, seeing the effect that has had on them. And the biggest toughest thing is that as they move past being teens and become more independent, spread their wings in their own lives, your connection to them is lessened or even lost. That is by far the toughest part of being a mum I have had to endue, and again, probably made worse by the fact that it's just me. :'(

[Moggy3kids]

The best thing about parenting teens is getting to know them as young adults. I have loved developing these new relationships with them, seeing them grow personally and professionally and follow their individual pathways, It's really nice discovering that you have raised pretty cool humans too! Also I have been introduced to some awesome new music through my teenagers!

The hardest thing .. there are many. Allowing them to make their own mistakes in a safe way. Watching them hurt , be it through heartbreak or bullying and not being able to fix it. Having to teach 3 kids to drive ! It's terrifying and 360 hours is awful haha. Helping them navigate a technological world that we did not grow up in. 

[gina-Ro]

I am loving all of these amazing insights - thank you to everyone who has posted and shared! 

@hippy_mum thank you for sharing your experience around being a single parent. I can only imagine the added complexities and challenges that come with that. 

The bitter sweet journey of watching a young person grow up -  the goal is to see them become functional independent members of society  - but in doing so the parent-child connection certainly changes. Navigating the changing relationship, and finding ways to stay connected must be both painful, and challenging.

Amazing to reflect on all those positives and insights as well - there is so much to learn from young people.