Hey @Taylor    Sorry to hear that you're going through this at the moment, I can imagine it has been quite shocking and unsettling to find out about this and I'm really feeling for you    I understand conversations have become really tricky but I want to share with you this piece of content on talking to teenagers about drugs. It has some great tips about opening up the conversation around why a young person might be partaking in drugs and how we can support them through this. I hope you find some of the information in it to be helpful.    It is really tough when consequences don't seem to be working, I hope some other parents are able to jump in and offer some guidance, you certainly aren't alone - have you been able to chat to any other parents about what you're going through? We have this interactive tool that might be an idea to have a look at. The tool is all about negotiation and compromise, and has videos of different scenarios with options for responding, I hope you find it to be helpful.  I am also wondering if there is anyone else in her life that might be able to have a chat to her, sometimes its hardest to have conversations with people we're closest to and we can be more open to hearing from outside parties. Is there maybe an aunt/uncle or teacher or family friend that might be able to have a conversation with her about these worries?   ... View more

Hey @Mum19  Thank you for sharing what you and your family have been going through, I can imagine its been quite a scary time for all of you. It is really good to hear about all the different supports your son has engaged with, it must have been quite upsetting when he did not want to attend the psychiatrist appointment. Were you able to make another appointment to see them?   I'm wondering about why he went off his medication and if this was a decision supported by his doctor? It can be quite a lot to stop taking medication and it can have a variety of impacts, it's important he is engaged with a medical team to make decision around medication.   It's lovely to hear he has a supportive girlfriend, have you been able to chat with her about your concerns? Sometimes it can be helpful when loved ones are able to support each other and let the person they are worried about know that they care together    I can imagine it was confronting to find the blood on some towels after he told you he had not been self-harming, have you had a conversation with him since this happened?   It is understandable why you might feel he plays on this, we certainly do not judge you for thinking this way. Its clear you want the best for him and want him to get the support he deserves. In terms of support services, there are a few options that could be helpful. This link here gives information about all the local public health services in your area, this could be a good place to start in learning about what is out there and which service might most benefit. Local headspace centres occasionally run groups that could be helpful for your son could attend, though you would have to check with whichever centre is closest to you.  Given your sons age, he is also very welcome to join our Youth Forum, these forum are moderated, peer support forums for young people to connect and support each other. Mind Australia is another service that might be able to offer some support as they work with adults experiencing complex mental health issues who aren't eligible for the NDIS. I hope some of this information is helpful, let us know how you go      ... View more

Hey @carlie  Just wanted to respond on this thread too to let you know I've responded to your post at this link, I hope you're able to get some support from other parents too  ... View more

Hey @carlie  Thanks for posting, this is a really tough problem and you are certainly not alone in experiencing this! Finding that balance between allowing teens to have freedom and having boundaries in place is super tricky and it is something everyone does differently. It is totally fair enough for you to be firm around wanting your son to be safe when riding his bike, your concern for his safety is valid and I can imagine these conversations must be quite frustrating.   Do you think there could be a way to come to a sort of compromise around this issue? For example there could be certain nights that you have dinner together but he is allowed to hang out with his friends on Fridays? Or something like that where you are able to hold a firm boundary (with consequences) but express that you understand where he is coming from?   It is also really tough when all conversations turn into fights, could it be an idea to take him out for pizza or for a drive just to reconnect with him and talk about other things? Its hard when conflict becomes the focus of all conversations, is there something else more enjoyable you could chat about with him to give you both a break?  Hope some of this is helpful, @carlie let us know how you go  ... View more

Hey @singlemomof2  Thanks so much for your post, it is always lovely to see parents writing to support each other and let each other know they aren't alone    So sorry to hear of all your frustrations with getting support for your son, I can imagine you must be quite disappointed in the waiting times. Did you still make an appointment for 6 weeks time? It must be very tough that your son isn't engaging with his school sponsored therapist, have you spoken to him about why this is? Sometimes it can be worth looking for a different therapist he might gel with more or seeing if the appointment times could be changed to a time of day when he is feeling more up to talking? I'm not sure if you have tried this already, but it can also be good to check in with his GP to see if there are any other supports available near you that he might be able to access. It sounds like you are doing lots of wonderful things to support him and it's beautiful to read how you have reflected on your own experience as a teenager, what sort of help do you think you would have most benefitted from when you were feeling low as a teen? Sending big love to both you and @BeStrong  ... View more

Hi @BeStrong  I'm so sorry to hear about what you and your family have been through. You have all had to endure so much and its incredible to read about your resilience through everything  Good on you for getting support for your daughter through her GP, psychologist and medication. You have been really proactive, and it shows how deeply you care for her wellbeing. You did the right thing by taking her to emergency on Monday, I can imagine this must have been very scary for you both. Is she still accessing these supports? Have you been able to speak to her psychologist about what happened on Monday? It can be good when all supports are able to be looped in on what is happening and work together to support the young person. In terms of going back to school, it can be very hard to say what the best course of action is, how is she feeling about returning to school? For some young people, school can be a protective factor and a place where they feel safe and valued, for other young people it can have the opposite affect. It could be an idea to try and have a conversation with all parties (you, your daughter, the school, the GP, the psychologist) to try and work out the best, most holistic way to support her. Is this something that might be possible?   Sometimes schools are able to offer a phased-in transition plan where she might only attend a few days a week, until she is ready to attend more. At this point keeping her safe and well is certainly the priority, did the emergency department give you any information about following up? This must be a really scary time for you and your family, I hope you are able to do something nice and relaxing all together, you all really deserve to take some time out to enjoy each other  ... View more

Hey @Parentmind  Thanks for getting back to us, really good to hear from you and get some more information around where things are at for your family. I really want to reassure you that you absolutely are not doing an awful thing by allowing your biological sons father to be in his life. It is completely understandable why you would want them to be in each others lives, and I think it's really beautiful how much you value your sons relationship with his half-brother - it is clear you are putting their needs above others and your love for these kids comes through so strongly in how you've spoken about what is happening    It must be very tough not being able to have open conversations with your partner about how you're feeling regarding your son being in his biological fathers life. It makes sense why he would be protective, but it is also fair that you want your son to know his biological dad and half-brother, have you been able to frame the conversation in this way? You said you are looking for answers around why you shouldn't allow unsupervised time, how are you feeling about the prospect of this? It sounds like you are becoming more comfortable with this idea but your partner is not, is that right?   This is a really tricky situation @Parentmind, and we're here to support you. I feel like you are really doing your best to be mindful of the feelings of everyone involved in this  I hope you are able to take some time to do something nice for yourself  ... View more

Hey @Mandy-C23    Some conversations with teenagers are certainly really tough and it sounds like chats with your 15 yr old step daughter are getting harder at the moment. Have you had a chance to talk to her about this?   We have some content about effective communication with teens that might have some useful tips in it, do you feel like this is something that comes up in all conversations you have with her? Or just around certain topics? It also can be nice to reinforce connection and do something nice together when there is a bit of conflict. Is there something nice you two could do together that would be enjoyable? ... View more

Hey @Mikismum  It is really tough when our loved ones are sad and we're not sure why. It must be really difficult that she hasn't opened up to you about what is going on for her at the moment that has got her feeling this way, does she seem to have noticed a change in herself too? Hormones certainly can affect everyones moods, is that something she has experienced before?    We have some content which I'll link here about depression in teenagers, it outlines that if this sort of low mood is lasting around 2 weeks or more it can be a good idea to try and further investigate what is going on and get some support. A Gp can often be a good place to start with this, have you got a good family GP that you think your daughter might be comfortable talking to? ... View more

Hey @ColoradoMoM  This is a really hard situation you're in at the moment, it must be really frustrating and upsetting to be going through all of this with your daughters dad.  It is completely up to you if you would like to pursue sole custody, I can imagine this is a really tough decision with a lot to think about. Is there anyone in your life you've been able to chat through this decision with? It could be helpful to speak to someone you trust about how you're feeling who could support you through the process if you decide to pursue sole custody. It could also be helpful to get some legal advice, here is a link to a legal service near you who might be able to offer some insight and support around what this process would look like. Is this something you think might help you with this decision? I hope some of our other community members are able to offer some support and insight around this as well @ColoradoMoM, all the best    ... View more

Hey @Amethyst31  Thanks so much for sharing this with us, it is always incredibly heartwarming to read about the way that parents support their children, particularly when it comes to sexuality or gender. She must feel so safe with you and its clear how much you love her and the welcoming, supportive environment you've provided her that lets her be who she is - and celebrate who she is!    We have a couple of content pieces around sexuality that might have some of the info and tips you're looking for, here is things to try and here is some info around supporting teens with sexuality.   It's wonderful that you want to increase your understanding as much as you can, this can be a beautiful opportunity to allow your daughter to educate you - she is the expert after all! Could you ask her about if there is anything she would like you to know about pansexuality? Or if there is any support you can give her around maybe one day telling her dad if that is what she wants? There are also lots of great resources on Minus18, a service for LGBQTIA+ young people. They have heaps of info for parents that could be worth looking at, it could even be something you two look at together  All the best! ... View more

Hey @JamOnToast  Thank you for posting your support here, I think what you said about technology is so true, its a real balance. And I think what you were saying about teens opening up during a drive is something lots of parents can relate to and is a great tip for tough conversations!   That is lovely to hear that you and your family have had such a great experience with headspace, did you access them through your local headspace centre or through their virtual support options? ... View more

Hi @Bassil  This would be a really hard situation and a really tricky spot that you're in with everything that is going on in the family. It's understandable your partner wants her kids to be proud of their dad and have a relationship with him but I can understand why this is tough for you when he isn't providing financially. Have you been able to chat to your partner about wanting to help out your adult child more with the money side of things?  I'm glad to hear you and your partner have a great life together, but totally get that things can be a real struggle sometimes. Are there things you two do together that you really enjoy? It can be important to prioritise doing things that bring us a lot of joy and comfort, particularly when there are external factors that bring us stress. Is there something that works for you two to combat this? ... View more

Hey @ERCAAL  Good on you for reaching out for some support around this issue, self-harm can be a really tough issue for parents and you're definitely not alone  It's lovely you have been able to use your previous experience to help manage how you're feeling around your sons self-harm, and its great you've been able to get him into see some professional help. It can definitely take some time to see how professional help is helping, does he have a good relationship with his school counsellor and psychologist? That is sad to hear he has isn't attending his regular sport activities, has he spoken about why this is? Is it just sport he has stopped engaging in or have you noticed he seems less engaged in other areas of his life too like school and friendships? We have some great content on self-harm that you might want to have a look at. There are so many different reasons why people self-harm, and your son might not be ready to talk about this yet, or he might even still be figuring out why he's doing it. In terms of helping at home, it sounds like you're doing a great job of letting him know he can talk to you when/if he's ready but you're not pressuring him to open up if he doesn't want to. It can also be nice to ensure that you still do nice fun things together and that the self-harm isn't the focus of all your conversations, are there fun activities you like to do as a family? I'm wondering as well if your older daughter might have any insights to share with you or if perhaps your son might benefit from having a chat with her? I wouldn't speak to her about what your son is experiencing without his permission, but it could be worth seeing if he wants to share what he's going through with her. I hope this is helpful, let us know how you go  ... View more

Hi @Mary4873,  Thanks for getting back to us with this information about what is happening for you and your son. It is really tough when there is a clash in what different household members value around cleanliness, and its hard to be in a position where you feel like you're nagging all the time. Could it be possible to have a conversation about structuring chores/household tasks and maybe come to a bit of a compromise with him? I'm also wondering if he is aware of how this makes you feel?   We also have this great thread where a number of parents have spoken about their experiences around chores and feeling like they are nagging, it has some really interesting ideas in it that could be worth trying. We also have some content around communicating with teens that might be helpful too.   ... View more

Hey @Rissa    So sorry to hear you are going through this, school refusal is something we talk about a lot on the forums, you are not alone in experiencing this issue  I'm really disappointed to hear how unhelpful the school has been in resolving this, schools can sometimes be so supportive with these sorts of situations, its such a shame this hasn't been the case for your son. It's not ok for the school not to take action if your son is being bullied, they have a responsibility to ensure his safety at school, could you take the issue further? Perhaps to the Principal of the school? I'm glad to hear your partner is an awesome help! That is so great you've got that support around you, but it does sound like things are really tough. Have you got an other supports you're accessing or considering accessing? I hope some other parents are able to offer their insights here with you @Rissa  ... View more

Hi @Mary4873    Thanks for sharing what you're going through with your son, its sounds like this must be pretty confusing for you. It can be quite shocking when someones behaviour changes, and it can seem to come out of nowhere. Could you give an example of some of the things you've asked him to do that he isn't doing? I'm wondering about what happens when you try to bring this up with him? Have you been able to have a conversation with him around what you've noticed and the concerns you have?   ... View more

Hi @qwerty11  Thanks for getting back to us, so glad you have found these suggestions helpful! That is very exciting how keen she is for the ESP courses, I don't have any specific guidance to offer around which courses or certificate/diploma, but I'm sure they would be happy to answer questions for you through their contact page   Good on her for having such adventurous ambitions! It's great to have things to look forward to, do you think you'll be go scuba diving and sky diving with her? Sounds like lots of incredible memories to be made! ... View more

Hey @Nabertater    Thanks for getting back to us, so sorry you are going through this, it must be a distressing time for you, I wanted to check in on how you're feeling today? I can imagine this was really shocking and confronting to hear, when he asked why you were mad was there a conversation that followed this? You have every right to be upset about this, hope you're going ok today    ... View more

Hey @Tinkle27    This sounds like a really tricky and complex situation you're in, sorry you're going through this and it's bringing so much turmoil and distress. It must be so tough having to keep your relationship a secret and having not had the chance to apologise to your step son. It sounds like the opportunity to apologise is really important to you in moving forward, is that right? Is this something that could maybe happen through a letter or email? Sorry if that is a silly suggestion, I'm just wondering if there is a way for you to talk to your step son about what happened. I'm wondering as well if your partner has any suggestions for ways of reconnecting with your step son? Is it a subject that perhaps he could broach with him?   I understand this must be incredible difficult for you to go through, and wanted to suggest if you were interested in getting some one-on-one support that Parentline could be an option to look into. They provide counselling so parents can chat about what their going through and get some direct support. I hope this helps, let us know how you go  ... View more

Hi @Ajackson  Thanks for this post, it's certainly a big question! It is really hard to say which parenting style is best - I'm not sure there is one definitive answer to this question. It's great that you have been so insightful about who you are and who your son is and that your considering how all these things fit together - I think this is a really thoughtful way to look at how we parent. What ways of communicating with your son have you found to be most effective? Its lovely that you have such an understanding of how he experiences love    I think the question you have asked about the party is a really interesting and tricky one, I don't think I can say for sure exactly what the impact will be - it can be very hard to know how young people might respond! But maybe having a chat with your son about what the consequences would be/how he would feel given all the options could shed some light? Maybe asking him how he might respond if the cousins were to come and why? For example if he says he feels bullied by those cousins, it might be an idea to leave them out of this party, but if you feel his reason for not wanting them there is unreasonable if could be an idea to explain that to him. i hope that makes sense! All the best  ... View more

Hey @JKCROW    This sounds like an intense and confronting situation you're going through at the moment. It can be really tough to find out teens are using substances and difficult to know what to do next.  We have an article here about teens and cannabis which might have a couple of ideas on some potential next steps. Sorry I don't know of any labs where you might be able to have the remnants tested, and I understand you're concerned about him using synthetic urine. This article here has some great tips in it about having tough conversations that could be helpful in addressing some of your concerns with him.  Is there anyone in your life that you've been able to chat to about what you're going through? Like another parent you know who might be able to offer some support? I can imagine finding the bong must have been quite a shock and it would be really hard carrying those feelings alone. I'm also wondering if there are any professional supports you've tried to get some support around these issues? Sometimes visiting a GP can be a great first step in addressing where to go from here. Feel free to let us know how you go, all the best  ... View more

Hey @Ifeelthesame    Issues with coparenting is something we see a lot of on our forum, you're certainly not alone in experiencing these challenges, thanks for sharing them with us. I'm sure @Noname1 will also feel comforted by your post as well, knowing they aren't alone    It must be really challenging that your children and your husbands children are at very different life stages, have all the children spent a lot of time together?  I'm wondering about how your husband is feeling about the possibility of you moving out with your children while they finish school? Is this an idea he supports? It is really lovely how much you clear care about your children and want them to be supported  You deserve support for yourself as well, Taylor mentioned Parentline above they are a counselling service for parents that might be worth looking into if you wanted to get some one-on-one support . All the best  ... View more

Hey @Pink4  It's really tough when we can feel our loved ones pushing us away, good on you for continuing to try and reach out to your daughter I'm sure she appreciates knowing how much you care about her  How did she feel about the idea of getting support from Place2B? Sometimes it can be worth revisiting support ideas again later on and letting children know even if they don't want to access a service right now, they can have a think about it and maybe give it a try at a later date.  The accident her brother was involved in must have been really hard for the whole family, were you able to get some support around what happened? Sometimes as well it can be good to see if there is someone else she might want to open up to about how she is feeling? Sometimes it is hardest to be most open with people we're closest too, is there someone else in her life that might be able to talk to her about what is going on for her?   ... View more

Hey @Jill20    Thanks for posting, I'm glad you've found us    We do talk to a number of parents on the forum whose children are in/ are interested in being in same-sex relationships or might be going through the process of discovering their sexuality. I hope some parents are able to jump on this thread and offer their insights    I understand your child is interested in a same-sex relationship, do you want to talk a bit more about this? We've got some great content around supporting children with coming out and talking to teens about sexuality if you wanted to check them out, I hope you find them helpful  ... View more

Hey @LIALIA    School refusal is a really tough issue that we see a lot of on the forum. Thanks for sharing with us how you and your daughter got through this together.   I wonder if that teacher had any idea about the impact of what they said when they were talking about how much more intense high school is. I love that you spoke about seeing home as a safe space, I think it's really important to recognise that. And also that you didn't push her, I can imagine she really appreciated being able to do things more incrementally and at her own pace. I'd love to know, if you're comfortable sharing, if the school was able to offer any support that you and your family found helpful? ... View more

Hey @LIALIA,   Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us, its so great to hear about what you've tried and what has worked for your daughter and your family. I think it's wonderful you've taken such a holistic approach to your daughters wellbeing, supporting her from lots of different angles - lots of great ideas in there for other parents to try!  Your daughter is lucky she's got you looking out for her  Letting her know about successful women who live with anxiety is such an awesome idea - feel free to share some of them with us if you would like to!   Thanks again for sharing @LIALIA   ... View more

Hey everybody!   Just tagging some new users who might want to introduce themselves here      @kevinfinn @Parent1234 @kelsma @ADELED @Jazzy21 @Butterfly51 @Frustrated22 @Ryebread @LuckyGirl2000 @Lolos @Bacardi @WorryWartMe @Elica1016 @eitak1 @Leo-mum5 @starlin @Magnum50 @whirly @ruined4life @Holly_p @Bassam99 @Lenny80 @Vocal_74    A big welcome to you all! Feel free to tell us a bit about yourselves and maybe something you enjoy doing with your children    ... View more

Hey @Butterfly51  Thanks for sharing this with us, I'm sure other parents on this thread will appreciate that you've shared and knowing they're not alone. It sounds like you're getting pretty worried that your daughter doesn't have any support networks outside of the family at the moment now she isn't seeing her boyfriend and has fallen out with her friends - is that right? It sounds like she is really lucky to have you looking out for her, maybe you could try and do a nice activity with her to let her know that you're thinking about her? I'm also wondering if you know of any youth services in your area that might be a good place for her to get some support and meet some new people? Maybe like a local sports team? Your daughter is lucky to have you in her corner, thanks for reaching out for some support here, it really shows how deeply you care about her  ... View more