Hi @Cass7575 and welcome to the forums  If you'd like to talk about anything that's on your mind, we're here to support you  ... View more

@jcgaustin welcome to the forums. It sounds like you're going through a really tough time - if you'd like to talk more about it, please feel free to create a new thread about it here if you'd like to. I can only imagine how stressed you must be feeling to be considering living apart from your husband and older daughter. Do you have any support for yourself through this?   ... View more

Welcome to the forums @Laurs78 - it's great to have you here. I'm really sorry to hear your son struggles with making friends, that must be really hard for him and worrying for you.  We have some resources on our website about friendships that might be worth a look if you're interested. Also, please feel free to start a new thread where you can discuss your concerns some more if you'd like to - we're here for you.  I really like your ideas about a buddy system in schools - it would be so helpful if there were some more practical ways to support young people with making friends.  ... View more

@KatsSad welcome to the forums - we're glad you joined. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a heartbreaking time at the moment. If you'd like to talk about what's happening for you, you're very welcome to create a new thread - please feel free to do that here if you think it would be helpful.  We're here to support you.  ... View more

Hi @elikat51 - welcome to the forums! We're really glad you reached out here for support. It sounds like you and your partner are going through a really stressful time - managing communication and relationships in blended families can be so complicated. We have articles on our website about handling conflict with your ex-partner and staying connected with your kids after separation that might be helpful if you'd like to take a look.   Is there any possibility that your partner might be able to involve a third party or mediator to handle the communication and arrangements about the children with his ex-partner? Alternatively, could he nurture his relationship with the children via text message, chat or email if they're open to it? I find even just a quick 'hi' or check in about their day seems to go well with my teenagers as long as any messages are short and not too often.   This situation seems like it's causing you a lot of stress too - do you have support for yourself or people you can talk to? ... View more

@mum70 thank you for sharing with us. I wanted to say how helpful I think it is that your child was able to write you a letter explaining how they're feeling and that they were able to be so clear with you.  It seems like a positive thing that they were able to give that to you, and that you've read it and you're seeking support to process your thoughts and feelings about it.    We have some resources on our website here that might be helpful to read if you'd like to.  Does your child have supportive people they can talk to about exploring their gender? In case it's helpful, services such as Minus18, QLife and Twenty10 are able to offer support, information and resources. QLife also offers a helpline that LGBTQIA+ people and their family and friends can contact. I'm wondering if they could be helpful people to talk to about your feelings and how to discuss the letter with your husband - what do you think?   Please feel free to post here any time as well - we're here to support you. ... View more

@Aariesrose that sounds really hard for both of you. Can I ask how you found out about the problems she's having with her friendships? I think it's pretty common for teenagers when they're having struggles not to want their parents to get involved - but it isn't easy for parents who just want to do whatever they can to help and protect them.    Is there anyone else your daughter feels comfortable talking to? Do you think she would consider talking to someone like a counsellor or maybe kids helpline? ... View more

Seeking some support for yourself sounds like such a positive thing to do @Abby91 - I find when I can't seem to do much to change our circumstances, support for me at least makes things feel a bit more manageable. I really hope you find it helpful.  ... View more

Hi @mum70 and welcome to the forums! I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's cancer diagnosis and illnesses - it sounds like your family is going through a really tough time right now.  It must be really hard for you sometimes having to take care of everyone else, without much left in reserve for yourself - do you have any supports you can turn to, or anything you like to do that helps you to nurture yourself? If you'd like to start a new thread of your own, please feel free to here - we'd be very happy to 'chat' there too. We're really glad you joined and we're here for you any time.  ... View more

Welcome to the forums @noimnotawook and thanks for sharing with us. I'm so sorry to hear of your parents' struggles - it seems like that must have been a painful experience for you, given that you have made the decision for them not to be a part of your son's life. I admire your goal of prioritising what you think is best for you and your family. You know your circumstances and your son best - if someone had tried to explain your parents' challenges to you when you were your son's age - what do you think you would have wanted to hear?  I'm not sure how old your son is, but sometimes I think it's best to take a staged approach with younger children, according to what they can understand, and adding details as they're able to understand more. It's a tough topic to approach with children, but you sound very clear on what you need and I hope you're able to find the words that feel right for you.  ... View more

Hi @RachelB and welcome to the forums - we're so glad you've joined the community. If you'd like to create a new thread of your own, please feel free to do that here.  I'm so sorry to hear about your worries for your daughter - that sounds really stressful. It's hard sometimes as parents to know how best to navigate things like rules and boundaries, especially in lockdown - it's a whole new world in a lot of ways really. I'll be honest and say that my teenagers are spending more time online than I'd usually be comfortable with, and I do share your worries about what it all means for them in the long term. It's not easy when there are so many losses they're going through and so few things to replace them.   It sounds like your daughter has been really open with you about the benefits she feels she gets from interacting with her friends. Can I ask what your biggest concerns are about it? Do you think she'd be open to discussing your concerns and working towards a compromise?   Re: the issues with cutting, we have some helpful resources on our website here, in case you're interested in reading them. Does your daughter have any professional support - eg. a counsellor or psychologist? If not, do you think that's something she would consider?   What about you - do you have people you can turn to for support, or things you can do that you find helpful or calming? Parenting in lockdown is tough sometimes.    We're here for you any time you want to talk. ... View more

I love this post and all the resources in it @Janine-RO  It's really hard feeling sadness for all the young people who are missing out on so many important things right now. I find myself just wanting to fix it, wanting to make it better - and it's tough feeling like this is one of those times where we can't do that.   I agree that self care is so important - we have to care for ourselves in order to be there for other people through this time. Mostly around here self care looks like a hot cup of tea and a lighthearted tv show. I found I started out watching my usual shows (I love sci fi) but they just felt too intense, so now I've moved onto things like renovation shows.  We've also been trying to create opportunities for fun, but it's hard to come up with creative ideas that resonate.   I'm really interested to hear how other people are going. ... View more

@Faob_1 I'm so glad the support has been helpful. It sounds like the stress has improved a little for you without your son's girlfriend in the house, although things do still sound very demanding. Is better sleep helping? Hope you can take some time to nurture yourself while you have a bit of space at least.  ... View more

Hi @Rach7 and welcome to the forums. Unfortunately, we're not able to offer medical advice - it would be best to discuss this with your son's health professional as they will be able to offer accurate information and advice. Hope all goes well.  ... View more

Welcome to the ReachOut forums @Abby91  I'm so sorry to hear of all that your son and your family are going through - that sounds so difficult. I notice you mentioned that your son had a difficult childhood and this is how he's coping - I really admire your empathy and compassion for his struggles. It's so obvious how much you love your son and how worried you are for him - it also sounds like you're feeling pretty overwhelmed in terms of knowing how to support him. Do you have much support for yourselves?   It sounds like your son hasn't found psychologists to be helpful in the past - I'm wondering if you've connected with any other services as a family, whether for him or to seek support for yourselves? For example, there are services like SMART Recovery, the Alcohol and Drug Foundation, Alcohol and Drug Counselling online or Family and Drug Support Australia. These are just a few starting points of organisations that  may be able to offer support, or to point you in the right direction of other supports in your local area.    Please feel free to post here any time for support as well - we're here for you.  ... View more

Hi @gwenny78 and welcome to the forums! We're glad you posted here.  That sounds like such a painful thing to go through. Do you have parenting orders in place? If so, do you feel that you're able to have a positive relationship with your youngest child?   I see you've said that your older children have decided not to have contact - I imagine that must be very hard for everyone involved. Have they shared anything with you about their reasons? Do you feel they are open to working on things, or do you think they need some space for now? I really feel for you - I can only imagine how difficult it must be to feel distance with your children. Please feel free to talk here any time you need support.  ... View more

@Father_of_two that sounds like a really helpful plan.  Hope the move goes smoothly and please feel free to touch base here any time you need to talk. ... View more

Hi @Beenthere and welcome to the ReachOut forums - it's good to have you here. It sounds like your family has been through a lot of ups and downs, I'm so sorry to hear your daughter has COVID - that must be worrying. If you would like to create a new thread of your own to talk through how things are going for you, please feel free to go here. We're here to support you.  ... View more

Hi @Kenji and welcome to the forums - we're so glad you reached out here for support. I wanted to let you know that I edited some parts of your post in accordance with our guidelines.    This sounds like a very complicated and stressful situation - can I ask how your partner feels about it all - is he supportive? Do you think he would be willing to talk to his parents in the hope of resolving things? If it's beyond that point, do you think something like mediation would be helpful? The safety issues with regard to his daughter do sound very concerning. I wanted to let you know we're going to send you an email today - please keep an eye out for that. We're here for you any time you need to talk. ... View more

Hi @Calmsees and welcome to the forums – we’re so glad you reached out here for support. If you would like to discuss your situation some more, please feel free to create a thread of your own here.   It sounds like your family has been through some really tough times in recent years, how heartbreaking that your daughter has lost relationships, etc since she was introduced to drugs at highschool. I can hear the grief underlying your words and I really feel for all of you.   I’m also hearing that you love your daughter, but you’re finding it painful to continue supporting her at the moment. Are there other support options that she could turn to so you can take some space? Do you have much support yourself or anyone you can talk to? ... View more

Hi @EllieSchneider and thanks for your question. We aren't able to provide medical advice and would recommend you consult a doctor - we hope all goes well. ... View more

Hi @Boymumma3 and welcome to the forums! We're so glad you're here. I'm really sorry to hear about the struggles you've had with your son - that sounds so hard for all of you. Can I ask if he has always had these types of challenges, or if there was something (for example a trauma) that contributed? It must be so frustrating to feel like you're not getting the support you need.  I really feel for you - you must be exhausted. We can share some possible services or resources that might be helpful, but you know your situation best so first of all I wanted to ask you - is there anything in particular that you think would help right now? ... View more

@Dimes your walks sound so nice - it's great that you have something you're able to do that helps so much. ... View more

@Monster366 welcome to the forums, we're so glad you're here. That sounds like a really worrying situation for you as a parent, and very hard for your teenager as well.  We have some good information on our website about self harm, talking about self-destructive behaviours and what to do when a young person doesn't want help that might be worth a read if that feels helpful. Supporting a young person who self harms can be very stressful for parents - do you have support for yourself? ... View more

@Dimes I think it's really common for parents to worry (or overthink) about their children when it comes to things like drugs and safety, but when you feel like it's overwhelming, is there anything you find calming?   Sometimes I find that when I'm worrying about something that's outside my control, it helps to either schedule a set time when I allow myself to worry, and then put it aside after that time has finished, or I practice mindfulness exercises like imagining putting the worry onto a leaf and watching it float away down a stream.   You'll know best what works for you, but I'm wondering if there are any self-care activities like those or others that you find help to ease your worry? I remember you said you weren't too sure about counselling, but I wondered if you've had any more thoughts on it since then? Some people find it helpful to have someone who's completely outside the situation to be able to debrief and unload with. ... View more

@Dimes it sounds like you're feeling much more positive about how things are going with your son.  It's so good to hear that you feel like the lines of communication are open and that you've been able to take some time to reflect.  We're all works in progress and I think it takes enormous courage for a parent to be able to be real and acknowledge their own struggles with their children. It's been a really worrying and stressful time for you - have you been able to do anything kind or nurturing for yourself through all this? ... View more

It sounds like a really painful road for you @fightfordads    It can be really complicated sharing the care of a child with someone who you experience conflict with, but some people find it helpful to communicate via a third party or mediator - do you feel like that could be useful in your situation? Sometimes it helps to create some distance from what the other person says as their comments are filtered by the mediator. Do you think that could be an option for you?   I really liked what you said about wanting to communicate without asking about your daughter's mother's home, and what you said about your daughter feeling she needs to be loyal to her mother.  I think that shows a lot of insight into how this must feel for your daughter.   It's very difficult for children when they feel caught in the middle of grown up problems and it's clear you're really trying to protect her from that. You sound like you have a lot of empathy for your daughter .  I think maintaining a focus on positive communication sounds like a really helpful way to support your daughter to know she's not responsible for any issues between you and her mother, and she doesn't have to take sides.    I'm wondering if there are other ways you could build on your relationship with your daughter that don't rely on a positive relationship between you and her mother? For example, could you stay in touch with your daughter via messaging or email to maintain a light-hearted and positive relationship with her? Eg. Sometimes teens can respond well to a little check in every now and then like "hope you have a great day at school. Love you" or "how did your soccer game go - I was thinking of you" or similar.   I'm not sure if these ideas are useful - only you will know your situation and what might work. It's not easy to co-parent, and I feel for you trying to make this situation work in the best interests of your daughter.  ... View more

I really like the ideas and thoughts you shared @Birdwings - these are certainly challenging times, especially in lockdown. You're so right when you say it's hard to know what goes through young people's minds sometimes, but it's inspiring to see such loving and devoted parents doing their all to support them in any way they can.  ... View more

Welcome to the forums @fightfordads! It sounds like you've had a challenging but rewarding journey as a parent - it's heartwarming to hear that your girls are your life. I've responded to your other post but just wanted to pop in here to say welcome.  ... View more