Hi @Tardis, I'm sure some other parents will pop in and share their thoughts and experiences but I just wanted to lend my support. It's a difficult and complex situation, and I admire your approach. Lots of love and emotional stamina coming through in your words!   Many psychologists also undertake counselling themselves. I asked a friend of mine once how it worked, since she would know exactly what their therapist was trying to do and the reasons why. She said that it didn't matter so much, what works isn't the understanding of the process but the doing of the process, which made a lot of sense to me. There may be another therapist your son will connect with better, who has some more tools in their bag. I know of some social workers who will go meet their clients in a setting they feel more comfortable with, like a playground or a McDonalds, etc. ... View more

Hi @Ilovemichael, and welcome! How old are your kids?   We're based in Australia, so some of the support links may not work for you but we can definitely have a chat and share experiences! ... View more

Welcome @CSculptor, thanks for joining the conversation! Like @Robmitch561, there is so much unconditional love coming across in your post. It sounds like you're doing all the right things - finding a good therapist, keeping the lines of communication open (well, as much as that is possible with a teenager!), making sure they know they have your love and support.    I notice you're based in the US too, so I don't have any local support links on hand but have you checked out PFLAG or similar organisations? ... View more

Waving hello to @WhatsUp, @Corona72, @del677 and @momof2teens! Feel free to introduce yourself here or answer the questions above! ... View more

Hi @Worrisome, it must have been quite a shock seeing the tattoos. I know a few tattoo removal technicians, and from what I understand it doesn't cause scarring but it does hurt and can be quite expensive. Their whole business is based around helping people who have made regrettable decisions, so they aren't likely to be judgemental. It really is the only safe way of removing them, I'd caution her not to attempt any of the DIY methods found online as they'll be ineffectual at best, or cause burns and scarring at worst.    You mentioned your daughter recently tried to hurt herself (just letting you know I've edited your post slightly to remove the particular method your daughter used, as per our community guidelines) For some people, including adults, the act of tattooing herself can be an expression of self harm. We have a comprehensive fact sheet on self-harm and teenagers that you may find helpful here.     How are you holding up throughout all of this?  ... View more

What's everyone reading at the moment? I'm finished with Voyager and onto the next Outlander book, Dreams of Autumn. ... View more

Rolling out the welcome mat for @AnxiousMum, @sarahlee, @Katobyte, @Mummaa, @trying_hard and @taskon. We'd love to hear more about you, so jump in and introduce yourselves!   1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh? 2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down? 3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today? 4. What's your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years? 5. What's the best thing about weekends? ... View more

Slow. ... View more

That's a lot of responsibility to take on over a lifetime @jdbza, I imagine you don't get through all that without a certain level of resilience. When you're ready to take a moment for yourself, do you have people you can talk to - friends, partner, counsellor? ... View more

I agree @Mumofthree, you've handled it well and it's fab that you've got such an open line of communication going with your daughter. I'm surprised that she was even able to get on Tinder, given that you need to be 18 and it takes your age from Facebook. There are other ways to make peer connections, like volunteering or sports for example. They might be a bit "dorkier", but at least are age-appropriate.   It used to be that you read your Dad's stash of dirty magazines when you were starting to explore your own sexuality, but those days are long gone. After all, we're chatting on a forum and kids usually way ahead of us with technology. I was surprised to learn that a lot of teens have their first "sexual experience" online now. Sounds like you've got the safety aspect covered, which is the most important thing. ... View more

That must have been a gut-wrenching discovery, @Lizzy. How are you feeling at the moment? Would your boss mind if you took a personal day to collect your thoughts?   It really sounds like you've been doing the right things - letting her know you're there for her, spending time together, accessing professional support. It's a sad reality that it takes time to recover from self-harm and learn new, healthier coping behaviours. Relapses are common and normal. I don't imagine this is a soothing thought for you right now though. Please know that we're always here to listen and you have our full support.       ... View more

Hi @mumlittlehelper, love your top tips. They sound so simple, but they're just to easy to forget in the heat of the moment. Thanks too for joining in and supporting others on various discussions.   Welcome to @Tootsjac also. Please feel free to introduce yourself or answer the questions above! ... View more

Please also keep us posted on what you and your daughters think of Embrace @taziness, I'm really keen to see it! ... View more

Hi @Tulips, just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. I understand you see a counsellor regularly, but how are you coping between sessions?   I'm so sorry to hear about the birthday blowout. I always feel anxious about organising parties for this reason. Do you have friends that you think could be a source of support? It's so easy to get wrapped up in your own world and miss the signs that someone is struggling, but good mates will be there for a cuppa and a chat when you tell them you need them. ... View more

Hi @Tootsjac, welcome to the forum. You're not alone in trying to reconnect with your son, and I hope some other parents can weigh in with their experiences. Does your son still live at home? It's just heartbreaking when you see someone you love struggling and they reject your help. There is some info on things to try here, although it's specific for depression it can be applied more broadly. Have you had a chance to check out the resources on the site yet? ... View more

Hi @taziness and welcome! Ordinarily I don't think it's unusual to lose a bit of that closeness with teenagers as they start to assert their independence. Are you seeing it as a red flag that she is not coping as well with her mental health as she used to? It's disappointing that her psychologist didn't arrange for another therapist to continue with the sessions while she is on mat leave. What is the main hesitation for not wanting to see someone else?    I'm impressed that you have a whole curriculum prepared for discussing sex with your daughters! You said that she engaged in unsafe and disrespectful sexual practices. By unsafe, do you mean unprotected? If so, I think it's important that she visits a sexual health clinic and gets tested. When you say disrespectful do you mean disrespectful to you and your house rules about sex, or that she was treated disrespectfully? There are some resources here on teaching respect in sexual relationships that you might find useful. Having said all of that, I don't know how you broach the subject without confessing you got the information from her diary and shifting the conversation to an argument about privacy. Perhaps some other parents of teens can weigh in here? ... View more

Hello to our newest members @Stetsonturner and @taziness. Feel free to introduce yourself by answering the questions above, or jump straight into one of our other discussions! ... View more

Productive. ... View more

Ha! I catch myself muttering "if I want it done right I might as well do it myself" a lot @JenniferS. Must be karma :) ... View more

That day always comes @seaglecc, as much as we hope it doesn't. It sounds like you're doing your best to keep a level head, even though this must be triggering some strong mamma-bear emotions!   Have you had the sex talk with her and mapped out expectations? ... View more

Hi @LovingThruBlue, I'm so glad you've found it helpful to share with us here. I was thinking if your daughter would be interested in a similar safe, anonymous space to start talking openly about her mental health without "outing" herself to friends/family, she could try the ReachOut Youth Forums.    How did the weekend go, are you any closer to a decision on an inpatient stay? ... View more

Hi @Polhon. These are not easy decisions to make and I imagine they are putting a lot of strain on your family relationships. How are you coping with the stress? You mentioned you have a psychologist, have you been able to talk through some of it with them? We have a couple of resources about managing family conflicts here, but I agree that some professional support wouldn't be a bad idea. Especially if your daughter does have issues with emotional regulation and possibly bpd.   Will you keep us posted on how you progress? ... View more

When I learned to drive, my only point of reference was video games (like Sega Rally) so I took a sharp corner without braking and just yanking the wheel over. I think mum nearly had kittens! Not surprisingly she palmed me off to a professional instructor soon after   I know it's different in each state, but don't you need a professional instructor to sign off and move onto your P's @seaglecc?   @Rehab, @nellyblye, @Brain-Fog, @Sadie, @mum_of_four - I think you've mentioned having older kids. Have you been through the driving lessons yet?! ... View more

Keep that welcome mat rolling out for @Polhon! Feel free to introduce yourself here :) ... View more

Hello to our newest members @DameZola and @Kazzza! If you have a sec, we'd love to know:   1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh? 2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down? 3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today? 4. What's your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years? 5. What's the best thing about weekends? ... View more

Haha I bet @JenniferS! Are there any areas where your daughter takes after you and your son takes after your husband? ... View more

Yep, that sounds about right @Mitzi   I recall @ziggystarmum talking about their eldest's first break up on another thread. Anyone else had to go through this? ... View more

How did you go having that chat with your daughter @MeJane? ... View more

Hey @mumxthree, just checking in to see how you're going. Did you find some professional support for your son? ... View more

Good idea @Mitzi, I reckon we could all use a vent every now and then! ... View more