Hi @missymoo13 , welcome to the ReachOut community! It takes strength to reach out for support, and your willingness to connect here shows just how resilient you are as a parent. It's clear that you care deeply about your children and their well-being.  I’m really sorry to hear about the challenges you and your family have faced and are currently facing. Dealing with family violence and the subsequent impacts on your children sounds incredibly painful and overwhelming, and I wanted to acknowledge your courage in facing such difficult circumstances. It's understandable to feel let down by systems that were meant to protect your family. Your commitment to self-care amidst these circumstances is admirable. Taking care of yourself, no matter how small the gesture, is crucial during tough times. Your tip for parents navigating the teenage years is insightful and reflective of your understanding of the importance of giving teens the space to grow and discover themselves. It can be really important to strike that balance between offering support and granting independence.  I encourage you to create your own thread here to share more about your journey and to connect with other parents who may be going through similar challenges. And I wish you all the luck in finding connection and support within the ReachOut community ... View more

There is more to this than stigma. What else caused this girls suicidal depression? Do you know what she goes through in her life? Maybe talking to her would be the best place to start. Encouraging her to be open about having been landed with a psych diagnosis and a psychiatric management team isn't the easiest thing to take on at age 14. Give her time. And space. How about encouraging her interests that help her feel happy about life?  Finally.  Has your child been checked by a health professional to rule out any physical causes? Keeping dangerous items away from her will only help for so long. Anybody can get their hands on those implements easily. I hope you can help shift her focus away from harming herself by giving her ways to understand there is alot of hope and plenty of time to have everything she'd like in life. That this all will pass is an important point to get her to understand also. Being 14 can be a very scary time and emotional roller-coaster when hormones are going biserk inside us, you need to help her be aware it's not going to feel like this forever. Help her expand her focus. Take her to fun groups, go on health retreats, explore hobbies, just don't help her to be a suicidal depressed teenager by worrying about the fact she doesn't like talking about it. ... View more

I’m so glad things have improved. Sounds like you and ur wife are a good team 🙂 ... View more

Hi @Tardis ,    Thanks so much for updating us on how you, and your son, are getting on. It is so valuable for other parents walking a similar path with their teens to hear from someone further along in their journey... it must be so hard as a parent to see your son refusing to engage in therapy, it sounds like you tried a lot of different avenues with him too and I imagine that would be pretty exhausting. But it's really good to hear that his ocd type behaviours and anxiety have subsided a bit.    I think that what you say here is incredibly wise: "Take the small wins - they’re usually hard fought."   Sometimes the day to day can be so exhausting and overwhelming that we don't have time to step back and acknowledge the wins , even if they're small ones.    Thanks so much for checking in! ... View more

Loved reading these posts about what people are reading! That Claire Bowditch book looks great @ceskia22, I might have to check it out.   One of the best parent - related books I've ever read was "Confessions of a Domestic Failure" by Bunmi Laditan. I am in a book club with some family members and when it was my month to pick I chose that one and I really loved it. It also led to some beautiful discussions about motherhood and its identity, and the expectations on women to parent in specific ways that are unrealistic - the book is also HILARIOUS!    We're currently reading "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous" by Ocean Vuong. Its written quite beautifully and is about family, written from the perspective of a son to his mother about relationships and Vietnamese culture. I am not too far in yet, but so far so good!  ... View more

Hello. I am 14 and I am a pansexual. And although I do not use a gender neutral name and do Identify as my born gender, I can assure it is not bc your children are troubled. And it also does not mean we have had any physical relations or want any yet. It just means we feel love towards people without taking gender into consideration. It is not anything anyone has done or any situation we have been put through, it's just the way we were made and nothing can change that or affect it. So don't worry your children are fine. We just don't fit into the hetero normative and we are "different" but that just makes us special and who we are. Hope this helped. ... View more

Hey @sMarta    Thanks for checking in with a @Kiwiinoz.   It sounds like you're doing a lot to support your friend and their child who are moving to overseas. I'm sure your friend appreciates it a lot.    Also, I removed one aspect of your post - the part with the link - because sharing links goes against our guidelines. Our community guidelines can be found here. ... View more

I made them install an app(Kruzr) which would block their mobile notifications, so that they can't use it while driving. It also notified the driver about speeding. Give it a try ... View more

Hey there @Rivers   Thank you so much for coming back on and updating us about your daughter - it is incredible to hear what's happened since we last heard from you, and hearing that things can improve and move forward is so powerful for other parents going through tough times with their teens.  What you said to your daughter made me  cry as i read it:   "I'm so sorry that you feel in pain to the extent that you want to hurt yourself; it must be horrible for you. If you ever want to talk to me or to anyone else, you just let me know or write me a note, or let someone else know... it doesn't have to be me. You're a gorgeous girl and this is not your fault, it's something that is happening TO you, and you're doing a good job trying to wrestle with it. We're immensely proud of you. It is really tough to go through what you're going through." What a beautiful compassionate response to your daughter's pain.    I am really moved to hear how far your daughter has come, and that she is ready to go back to a new school for a fresh start. I can hear how painful and challenging the path must have been to get to where you are now, but what a great outcome.    Thank you again for sharing.    ... View more

Hi, Yes, Permanent tattoos are difficult to remove. but right now many people doing temporary Tattoo Designs. Like They Got tattoo Stickers or something related to Paint which is easier to remove.   Because Due to latest trends of tattoo designs people should have various option to placed different tattoo designs but due to permanent tattoo it is difficult as compared to temporary tattoos.   ... View more

i wonder how this turned out too, i feel for the mom wanting her daughter home but her partner feeling differently. i was in a relationship once where we disagreed so much about parenting and it felt like a really bad situation to raise a child in ... View more

Hi @Mitzi  My just 18 year old is in his first relationship and it has been a bit of a roller- coaster for me! I felt quite distanced from him for a while as he finished school, literally fled the nest(so to speak) and grew up over night. however i have kept the communication with him as strong as I can and we talk and text and he is sharing more and more (five months on).  I think the main thing I have learnt is to keep letting him know how much we love him and enjoy seeing him having fun and how much I loathe the social media side of these modern relationships! They seem so intense and there is no detachment time. (and they see things that distress them re their partner) We also keep encouraging him to spend time at home with his family even if its just for a meal or a chat. ... View more

Oh @jdbza I'm so sorry for you and your neice. That poor girl, having to deal with this must be so overwhelming for her. All I can think is how lucky she is to have a stable, loving, supportive influence like you in her life.   And I really hope you're accessing your support networks. This is a huge blow, don't weather it alone.   Do you think that there might be some benefit in it all being out now? In the sense that you're no longer dealing with the feelings of is she / isn't she, while watching your niece cope with her mum being sick. I know it's incredibly painful but much like lancing an infection, at least now it can heal.   Are you guys able to have a bit of a break now? Not a holiday, just a break from communication with your sister. So you and your neice can process it. ... View more

Hi @taziness   That is amazing news!! You have really managed to turn this situation into an opportunity for learning and connection for you all. That's a huge win. I believe it's what all parents are working really hard for in crisis, to find a solution and support everyone in getting there. And when it happens without taking years, it's an amazing feeling. Make sure you take a moment to pat yourself on the back.     It sounds like you've got lots of great things planned for your daugters to attend. The Mindfullness camp sounds incredible. Don't forget to let us know how it goes for them.   It also sounds like you have some coaching lined up. I wasn't sure if that was for you or your girls.  If you're open to something for you, then the ReachOut Parents' Coaching could be perfect.   Thanks so much for coming back and updating everyone. Looking forward to seeing you again in the forums. :)  ... View more

My middle child is the one most like me of my kids. It makes her equally easy and hard to parent. Easy because I know exactly what she's thinking. Hard, because I know EXACTLY what she's thinking.  ... View more

My vent:   When my daughter is being super mean to me and her brother and when I ask her why she'll say "I can't help it, I'm really tired / hungry / pre menstural" and then I'll hear her answer her phone all "hey you, what's going on blah blah blah" just a vision of friendliness. Sometimes I would give a limb to be treated like her friend.   I know we don't have to do this but...   Flip side of this - she feels safe enough with me and her brother to be her authentic self. She knows we're here for the long haul and she doesn't have to win our love. ... View more

Hi @Aussiemom   Thanks so much for the update. It's wonderful to hear that he's doing so well. It sounds like he might be feeling happy. Is that how it feels to you? How is he and the family managing his distance education? I know you had some concerns. Did it turn out better than you thought or is it difficult? ... View more

Well done @seaglecc sounds like you all handled this beautifully. And well done on raising a daughter who not only understands the importance of asking for advice when she's unsure of things but talks to you about what's happening even when she knows she may not get exactly what she thinks she wants. There's a lot of young people who would have done ALL of this 'off radar' and a lot of parents who are the last to know. Congrats!   I'm also getting from your posts the importance of communicating with the bf or gf's parents. Did that come about from this situation or did you know each other already?   And I can't wait for the "Sex ed for Grandparents" thread. :)    ... View more

Hot. ... View more

I agree @Mumofthree, you've handled it well and it's fab that you've got such an open line of communication going with your daughter. I'm surprised that she was even able to get on Tinder, given that you need to be 18 and it takes your age from Facebook. There are other ways to make peer connections, like volunteering or sports for example. They might be a bit "dorkier", but at least are age-appropriate.   It used to be that you read your Dad's stash of dirty magazines when you were starting to explore your own sexuality, but those days are long gone. After all, we're chatting on a forum and kids usually way ahead of us with technology. I was surprised to learn that a lot of teens have their first "sexual experience" online now. Sounds like you've got the safety aspect covered, which is the most important thing. ... View more

That is very challenging @Tootsjac, and I'm sure must seem hurtful. Would your husband consider raising these concerns with your son?   @Mumofthree @ziggystarmum @Rehab @mum_of_four @mumlittlehelper Do you have any communication tips you could share from your experience? ... View more

Hi @Tulips, just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. I understand you see a counsellor regularly, but how are you coping between sessions?   I'm so sorry to hear about the birthday blowout. I always feel anxious about organising parties for this reason. Do you have friends that you think could be a source of support? It's so easy to get wrapped up in your own world and miss the signs that someone is struggling, but good mates will be there for a cuppa and a chat when you tell them you need them. ... View more

@StHubbins So did you get a swimming pool? I'd be interested to know how you dealt with that, and even how you began the probing that made that discovery! It sounds challenging. ... View more

How has everything been since this coversation @Crossfitmum?  ... View more

Hey @mumxthree, just checking in to see how you're going. Did you find some professional support for your son? ... View more

Thanks for the update @Concerned, I was thinking about your situation recently and was hoping you'd return. I'm sorry to hear that things are still tense between you and your daughter. Being interstate must make meaningful contact especially difficult. Do you have plans to be in the area any time soon? It might help to catch up face-to-face so she can see and feel your genuine remorse. If she does need time and space to get over these feelings of anger, then perhaps it's best to respect her wishes and leave the subject alone until you can see her in person.   If you don't mind me asking, aside from talking to your friend - how are you coping with this? Guilt and worry are heavy emotions to bear for extended periods. ... View more