Hey @Hope_4  It is great to hear that you will be booking in a coaching session this week! I know you mentioned that you were researching around ADHD, and I thought I would share a post we have here around ADHD as well as a collection of resources we have here. I thought you might find these helpful to have a read through. We also have a youth community here which your daughter may be interested in joining. We have some spaces specifically for our neurodivergent community. We also have some resources around ADHD for young people here. Take care and all the best with the coaching service. ... View more

Dear Bellalight, I came across your comments in ReachOut as I searched for articles about how schools support targeted parents, or align with alienating parents, in cases of parental alienation. Your story sounds both frustrating and devastating, as are many cases of parental alienation.  I am submitting a proposal to an Australian University to undertake a PhD in this area, specifically in NSW state schools.      ... View more

It has been while but did you get any resolution? did Esafety commissioner help ... View more

Hey @dudmum I wanted to chime in with some support as it sounds like you're really struggling with communicating with your son. The fact that you want to keep that connection alive is so special and it's hard when he doesn't want to talk to you at all. I think it's not uncommon for parents to feel this way when their kids are in the teenage years, and I'm sorry to hear that you're having struggles starting up a conversation across a range of situations. I wanted to explore what may be going on for you son which has stopped this communication from happening. When was the last time you felt that you two were connected? Can you think of anything that happened since then which may have affected his willingness to talk? I was also wondering whether there were any topics that you know he'd be more interested in talking about, if small talk isn't working. Does he have any hobbies or interests you could share a discussion about with him? It may show that you're interested in his life outside of his usual day. I'm curious to know your thoughts about this! ... View more

Hey @Christina7  Thank you for sharing this!  It sounds like you are already such an incredible support for both of your children and they are both very lucky to have such a loving and caring mother like yourself.  It makes me happy to hear that with your support, your daughter has become more confident and has been opening up with her friends. This is a a real testament to the support you provide.  I can hear that you are also wanting the same for your son, but that it has been more challenging. I can only imagine how tough it must be for you to know that people are treating him this way and it sounds like you are trying very hard to make your son feel more supported and comforted. He is very lucky that he has such a supportive family to help him through this.  I was wondering whether your son has any other supports through school, a GP, or mental health service or professional that he can talk to about this? I wanted to share some resources with you which I thought you may find helpful to have a look through. We have a list of articles around things to try for sexuality which include articles on helping your teenager with coming out, coming out at school and more. We also have one about supporting teens with their sexuality which may also be helpful.  It sounds like your son feels very comfortable talking to you about this which is great to hear. I was wondering if perhaps you have had a conversation with him and asked him how you could best support and comfort him, similar to how you have asked us? Do you think this would be helpful?  Thank you again for sharing this with us.  ... View more

We were able to resolve the issue ... View more

Hi @WorriedMomOfOne , thank you so much for sharing yours and your daughter's experience here. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter's father has not been particularly supportive of her sexuality - as a young LGBTQIA+ person myself I can certainly understand how that might lead her to feel concerned about how she will be received by the rest of the world. Does your daughter have much contact with her father? On the other hand, it sounds as though you are doing everything in your power to ensure that your teen feels accepted for who she is and who she loves, which will undoubtedly go a long way in allowing her to build confidence and comfort in her identity. Having a safe space at home to be yourself is a huge part of learning to be comfortable in your own skin, so you should be incredibly proud that you're creating that kind of space for her. If you're interested, my parents shared their experience of raising and supporting a young queer person through the coming out process in our Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Child - A Parent's Perspective event, so feel free to check it out.  ... View more

Hi @Kim-1986 and welcome to the online community! I'm incredibly sorry to hear that your daughter has been having a tough time with socialising lately, it sounds as though there has been a lot of change in her life and social group this year, some of which has been particularly traumatic. How did your daughter cope in the wake of losing her friend in the accident? Loss and grief can be a difficult thing to process for the first time as a young person, and can definitely make it more challenging to want to interact with friends and peers. If you're interested and think it might be useful for you, Kids Helpline here in Australia has some great resources on supporting your child or teen after losing someone, so feel free to check it out.  It also sounds as though there have been some other transitions in your daughter's friend circle, with one of her friends spending a lot of time at college and looking after their mum while others are managing pregnancy. I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter is struggling to work out where she fits in all of this and what her friendships might look like moving forward as her peers take on these very adult caring responsibilities. You mentioned that your daughter has given up her apprenticeship and that college perhaps wasn't for her - does she have any plans of what she might like to do for work in the future? Perhaps re-engaging with what her goals are and what she would like her future to look like might help her to discover and get curious about who she wants to be as a young adult. It's great to hear that your daughter is enjoying talking to a boy online, but I can certainly understand your concerns about this holding her back in terms of face-to-face interaction and getting out of the house. I'm curious as to what your daughter might be getting out of this relationship and whether she finds a certain sense of stability in talking to this person now that so many other things in her life have changed? Wishing you all the very best with your recovery from surgery, and please feel free to keep us updated on how your daughter is doing.  ... View more

Hey @kiddos  Thank you for sharing more about your situation with us. It's good to hear that your children have been doing extra curricular activities and it sounds like from the playdates that you've been trying really hard to help them create these friendships and connections. As our service focuses on adolescents, we may not have the best resources for you however it may be worth speaking to a GP or local family doctor for some support and to discuss any concerns you may be having, including the concerns you raised about your daughter lacking motivation. It may also be helpful to discuss this with the school and with your children's teachers to see if they have noticed anything and to explore what's going on at school. Is this something you would consider? I also know that you mentioned that you've been wanting to work on emotional intelligence with your children. We have this article about emotional intelligence, however given that our service is aimed at teenagers, some of this may not be appropriate but might be helpful as a guide for next steps. ... View more

Hey @Worriedmun It certainly sounds like things are stressful at the moment. Taking the first steps can be the hardest but it's important to look after yourself too, so you can look after your daughter. Mindspot have some accessible resources, however you did mention not needing more work to do and I can relate to that. Wondering if you have tried parentline for advice? Depending on where you are based, there can also be state specific parent lines. Have you had a read through ReachOut's resources stress and teenagers? Let us know how you go, All the best  ... View more

Hi @catnap  Thank you for sharing your story with us, it sounds like you have had a lot to deal with for a long time now and I'm really glad you reached out for some support.    You've mentioned that you don't have any family close by, do you have any friends over here that you can talk to? You also mentioned that you saw a psychologist which is great. Are you getting support from them regularly?   The behaviours of your partner that you've shared are very concerning, for both you and your children. I can definitely understand why you'd be feeling hopeless at the moment. Abuse is never ok, you deserve to be treated with respect and care. You shared that you feel like you have to stay with him because of financial reasons, I'm wondering if you've reached out to any supports to help you and your kids find a safer place to live? I'd recommend getting in touch with 1800RESPECT, they offer free counselling and would be able to direct you to support services to keep you safe. I'm also going to send you an email, so look out for that coming your way soon. ... View more

Hi again @RachelB , from what you've explained here it sounds as though your daughter is quite reluctant to go to school at the moment, which must be incredibly hard for you to manage as a parent. I'm curious as to how long your daughter has been pushing back against the idea of going to school? You mentioned in your other thread that her self-harm began around the same time that she started high school - has she been struggling with school refusal since then too? You mentioned that you think that anxiety and avoidance might be involved in your daughter's school refusal - has she mentioned anything in particular that might make her anxious about going to school?    ... View more

Hi @RachelB , I'm sorry to hear that your daughter has been struggling with self-harm. It can be heartbreaking to see your child in pain and to know that they are hurting themselves, so I can completely understand why you would be feeling distressed by all of this. Do you have any sense of why your daughter might have started self-harming at the start of high school? Has she been struggling with making friends or any bullying? It sounds as though you're being quite proactive in looking for support for your daughter, but that she's not particularly keen on going to counselling. Has she explained why she might be reluctant to talk to someone?  ... View more

Hi @Girlfriday123 and thanks for reaching out for some support. I'm sorry to hear that your child has been struggling to go to school due to their anxiety and depression. It can be incredibly hard for young people to manage these kinds of mental health challenges while also fronting up to school everyday, and you are certainly not alone in struggling with your teen's school refusal and attendance issues. Has your teen given you any sort of indication as to why specifically they don't want to go to school? Is it primarily because they are struggling to manage their anxiety or depression while they are there, or are they having a hard time at school socially or academically as well? I'm also curious about what kind of support your teen has for their anxiety and depression. Are they currently seeing a psychologist or or counsellor? If you think it might be useful for you, we have a community discussion page on school refusal which has some great information and links to our school refusal resources. One of our psychologists has also written an Ask a Professional thread answering another parent's questions on managing school attendance, which might be a helpful read too. Feel free to check these pages out if you like - there are a lot of parents who have been finding it difficult to encourage their teens to attend school consistently, so hopefully you are able to find some comfort and guidance from the other members of our community too.   Please feel free to keep us updated on how your teen is doing and know that we are here to support you along the way  ... View more

That's all for tonight folks! If you are looking for some extra support for your LGBTQIA teen, or have questions about how you can support them, here are a few resources that might be right for you: The Trevor Project TransHub QLife Resources Supporting teens with their sexuality - ReachOut Sexuality and teenagers - ReachOut ... View more

I have thought about counselling. My budget is already really tight and I’m putting everything into my daughter. She is quite protective of me and worries about me too. The past two nights she has been insistent on making sure I eat dinner. She tried to keep herself busy today doing things around the house, which often doesn’t happen. It’s a positive sign but I’ve seen it before and I still worry that she will just burst again. I am so worried that I don’t want my partner to come over because I worry that they will clash again and we will go back to square one. My anxiety is pretty high, my mind is foggy and I’m am soooo tired ... View more

Hi @teenagers2 and welcome! Getting teens to help out around the house can be quite a difficult task sometimes, but is a really important way of spreading the burden of household chores and encouraging them to take an active role in looking after themselves as they develop into young adults. If you feel comfortable sharing, what usually happens when you ask your teens to chip in when it comes to washing up? If you're interested, one of our mental health professionals wrote a thread about how to get teens to help out around the house in response to another parent in our online community who was going through something similar. Feel free to check it out here, hopefully you can find some tips and tricks in her response as well as seeing that you're certainly not alone in what you're going through!    ... View more

Hi @Wasitmyfault and welcome to the online community! We're really glad you reached out for some support. It sounds as though the new dynamics in your daughter's relationship have been pretty unexpected and somewhat confusing for you, and that you have some concerns about how the addition of a third adult into the household might impact your grandkids. To start off with, I think it's a great sign that you felt as though you could voice your concerns openly with your daughter and ask questions about how things might change now that her and her husband are seeing someone else. It sounds like a positive sign that your daughter and her husband are seeing a counsellor as a step towards navigating this change in their relationship, and hopefully they will be able to pick up some tips on how to explain their new situation to their kids. From what you've said in your post, I can see that you care deeply about your granddaughters. It sounds as though you hold some concerns about your grandkids and how these changes at home might impact their wellbeing, and you mentioned that you can see some red flags. If you don't mind me asking, is there anything in particular about your daughter's new relationship that makes you concerned for your grandkids, or any red flags in particular that have made you feel uneasy? ... View more

I had to reply as I could have actually written this, sounds exactly like my husband and unfortunately his ex.. I don't know have a lot of advise but it did get better for us, once she settled down and found a man.. a very older one but a man none the less, she has held down a job for 5 years amazingly.. But I have completely and totally disengaged from her, I have not laid eyes on her since 2016 lucky me.. I just hope your situation gets better; my hubby still won't stand up to her which drives me insane but I have just tried to let it go..easier said then done! Goodluck x ... View more

Thank you so much for your post. I didn't realize that this was for teenagers 12-18 but you did provide some great advice that I will move forward and look into. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. ... View more

Hi @Michi05 and welcome to the online community. We're really glad that you reached out for some support, as this sounds like a really tricky situation to navigate. I'm sorry to hear that you've found your daughter sending nudes via Snapchat. That must be quite a confronting and uncomfortable discovery for you as a parent, and I can certainly understand your concerns about this kind of behaviour taking place online. It sounds as though your daughter sent these images to her boyfriend - do you know him very well? I'm also curious as to whether your daughter knows that you've found these images, or whether this is something that you found on her phone yourself? Having conversations with teens about sending nudes can be really difficult territory, but it can also be incredibly useful in helping them understand how to stay safe online. How would you feel about having a conversation with your daughter about the images you found? If you're interested, we have a few resources on how to talk about sexting with your teen and the eSafety Commission also has a great guide for parents on this topic too. Is there anyone in your life that you trust to talk to about all this? It can be difficult to cope with the idea that your daughter has been sending naked images to someone, so if you're keen to have a chat with someone for some additional support, ReachOut also offers a parents coaching service that you can access.  Hang in there @Michi05 and please feel free to keep us updated on how things are going with your daughter  P.S. We'll be sending you an email to check-in, so keep an eye on your email inbox.  ... View more

Dear Lancaster, Sorry to hear about your troubles with your ex and your boys. I am Mum to an 18 year old male and a 16 year old daughter. I am married so haven't gone through this situation personally. However, a number of my friends are divorced and been through this with their kids to the point where their kids refuse to talk or see them. I'm not entirely sure whether it's the ex turning the kids off mum or the kids' doing. However, I wanted to mention a situation called parental alienation which is where a parent turns kids off the other parent and ends up gaining full custody. I don't know whether kids find it hard going in between parents and feel they have to take a side in the same way people support a football team. I personally feel kids need both parents. Perhaps, someone else could add more to this. Best wishes, Birdwings ... View more

My lovely, healthy children. My well-being. The ability to go my own way. ... View more

Hi @Mummyofrebel and thank you for sharing this with us. We're so glad you reached out for some support. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having trouble managing your daughter's phone use. It can be incredibly tricky to try and establish firm and healthy boundaries with teens around using their phones, especially if your daughter is having a strong reaction when you try to encourage her to take some time away from their screens. If you're interested, feel free to check out these articles on managing your teen's use of technology and supporting your teen to stay safe online. You also mentioned that your teen has recently been sent some pornographic material by a friend. I can completely understand why this would be distressing for you, especially given that your daughter is only 13. It sounds like it might be useful to talk to your daughter about the content that she's been sent to see what effect it has had on her and to come up with a way to manage these kinds of messages together.  I'm curious, do you happen to know your daughter's friend who sent the pornographic clip to her? This sounds like quite a serious situation and a very inappropriate message for your daughter to receive, so it might be worth discussing it with the other young person's parents. If you don't know the young person or don't feel comfortable talking to their parents, getting in touch with your daughter's school to discuss the incident may be another useful option.  It sounds like you're having a difficult time right now @Mummyofrebel. Do you have anyone in your life that you trust to talk about this situation with, like family or friends? We'll be sending you an email shortly just to check in, so keep an eye on your inbox. ... View more

Hi Me-me Roller coaster is the perfect way to describe the last few months for us as well ! He is currently out on bail after spending about 4 months in youth detention including his 16th birthday as I refused to take him home as his risk taking was increasing. He lost a friend while he was in there who was killed in a stolen car, but that has had little impact. He is still breaching bail on a daily basis by not charging his tracker and not following his curfew, the only upside is atleast he is coming home most days and not being MIA completely. He is still caught up with his friends and trying to impress them by doing stupid stuff. He isn’t interested in making better choices yet. It’s so hard because there is such a demand for support services and huge wait lists so I’m trying to get him involved in positive activity but it’s hard while we wait for the services. It’s just day by day at the moment which is absolutely exhausting! It’s so sad that all the good from the first 15 years of his life is over shadowed by the poor choices of the last 12-18months. I hope that at some point something clicks for him and we can get him back on track- but it’s just a waiting game until he is willing. I hope that things with your son improves, just hang in there. ... View more

Hi there @chickenlittle (great name by the way) and welcome to the online community! It sounds like you're keen to find some toys that are appropriate for you little ones to play with. How old are your kids? ReachOut Parents Forum is primarily designed for parents of teens between 12-18, so I'm not sure if we have a lot of advice to give in this area. But, with that being said, the Raising Children Network has some fantastic resources on learning, toys and play. They have specific advice on play for each age group, so you should be able to find some great ideas about toys there regardless of how old your kids are.  All the best!  ... View more

Hi @Upmama38 and welcome to the online community, we're really glad you reached out for some support. I can completely understand your concern about this situation - it does seem quite unusual, particularly since your stepchildren are well into their teens. Do you happen to know if this is something that their bio mum has started doing recently, or if it's something that she has always done around the house? I can hear that you're concerned about this kind of behaviour and how it might be impacting your stepkids, which is absolutely a valid concern. It sounds like a great sign that they feel comfortable telling you about what's been going on with their mum and sharing this kind of information openly. Have they mentioned how they feel about their mother's nudity at home and whether it makes them feel uncomfortable? Do they show any resistance towards staying with their mum? This seems like quite a concerning situation to learn about, and I can definitely appreciate why you're feeling uneasy about your stepchildren being exposed to this kind of nudity. As you said, it doesn't seem to be incidental nudity like walking from the shower to the bedroom, but rather quite deliberate nudity throughout the house. I'll be sending you an email to check in and discuss your options for addressing this moving forward, so keep an eye on your inbox. Hang in there @Upmama38. It sounds like you care deeply about your stepkids and that you want them to feel safe and comfortable both when they're in your care and with their mum, too. You have every right to be concerned here    ... View more

Hi @Sovilla and welcome to the online community. We're really glad you reached out for some support. I'm really sorry to hear about everything that has been going on with your son. It sounds like your family has been through a huge transition this year after relocating to Australia, and that you're trying to support your son as best you can on top of all of this. I'd imagine that it must have been very confronting to learn that your son has been self-harming and that he tried to take his own life. Has he spoken to you about trying to take his own life, or is this something that you found out from other people?  I can completely understand your frustration around your son's school refusal and his struggle to get out of bed some days - it can be incredibly hard to watch your teen going through this without feeling helpless and sometimes angry that they aren't getting up and trying to carry on. I know that my parents wanted to yank me out of bed themselves some days when I was struggling. It must be confusing to see him laughing and getting along with his siblings one moment, and then feeling down and hopeless the next. Does it seem like anything triggers these changes in his mood? It sounds like you're trying to get him the best possible support by sending him to a psychologist and creating a support network for him at school. Have you considered getting your son involved in your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health service? CAMHS provide community-based support to young people in your local area, as well as offering family-based support to help parents and siblings to cope with the effect of managing their loved one's mental health. Headspace also has youth mental health centres in most local areas and online if you'd like to investigate that too.  You mentioned being a bit concerned that the people your son is spending time with at school may be encouraging him to self-harm. Is there anything in particular that makes you think that? We have some great resources on self-harm here if you'd like to give them a read and pass them onto your son, as well as an article for parents on supporting your teen to manage self-harm. If he needs support with his suicidal thoughts, Lifeline offers crisis support on 13 11 14. Kids Helpline is another option for people under 25 if he would like to talk to someone other than his usual psychologist and he finds himself needing support at short notice. Hang in there @Sovilla. You are not in this alone and we are here to support you as much as possible.  ... View more

Hi @Parent-of-a-few, I noticed that you made a similar post elsewhere on our forums so I moved it to this thread as we do not allow duplicate posts. I am not sure if you saw Portia's reply but she made some great suggestions and shared a resource above. Please feel welcome to let us know how you go ... View more

Hi @FlorenceSamuels , it’s nice to hear from you again. We really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and share what’s been going on for you. It has shown a lot of courage :)  I am sorry to hear that your son had a falling out with his friend, that can be really tough for a young person to go through. It’s such a bummer that the club in your area doesn’t offer the Explorers group, I wonder if there are any other clubs or activities in your area that interest your son?  You mentioned that you found a run club/counsellor service in your area, and that your son isn’t too keen on engaging with them at this point. I found this article on things to try when supporting your teen getting help here, I wonder if any of these tips might help with this?  It’s really positive to hear that you have been able to establish a routine around screen time, it sounds like routines work really well with your son  You mentioned that some adults haven’t been speaking in a very supportive way about your son, and I’m really sorry that you had to experience that. It sounds like the comments made were really hurtful, especially coming from family.   With everything that is going on, I am wondering if you have any support for yourself? Supporting someone through a tough time can be tough on you too, and it’s important to take care of yourself just as much as it is to take care of your son. Is there anyone you trust to talk about this with? Such as a friend/family member or a counsellor?  I want to remind you that you’re not alone in this, we are here to support you. ... View more